A key part of social dancing is being fun to be with. So what makes a person fun to dance with?
Think about the kind of people you like to be with because they are fun. They probably display the following qualities:
Dancing with such people relaxes you – because they are relaxed it helps you relax. Their relaxing also communicates confidence which can make you feel safe. Feeling safe than sets you up for adventure. And that makes things exciting. When you’re relaxed and feeling safe, you can’t help but have fun. It becomes even more fun if any mistakes on the adventure are treated as a minor issue – that’s why fun people are non-judgemental people.
If you like dancing with fun people, then people will love dancing with you when you’re fun too.
So to be fun, you need to be relaxed. If you’re serious about dance and being a fun dancer, then don’t take dance so seriously. Relax when on the dance floor. An easy way to do this is to this is to focus on your partner. Regardless if you’re a follow or lead this will work:
- If you’re a follow, then focusing on your partner will make you a better follow as well as stopping you from focusing on what could go wrong and putting you off your dance
- If you’re a lead and you focus on your partner, then you will be better able to sense their ability, and dance at the best level for adventure
Speaking of adventure.
One of the best ways to have fun when dancing is to go out with a sense of adventure. Such a sense is contagious. If you make a comment that clearly indicates that you have a sense of adventure as you walk out on to the dance floor, then you have set a good precedence. Some possible comments (these are just ideas; if everyone uses them, then they will lose effect):
- Let’s tear up the dance floor, what’s the worst that could really happen!?!
- Let’s see what you/I can lead me/you through
- I reckon we could do (insert a desired figure here)
Some of these can also be said while dancing – if you are so inclined.
This also relates to being non-judgemental. If you have a sense of adventure that focuses more on trying accepting what may come, then you enhance the sense of relaxation and adventure. If your partner still seems to have not caught your vibe, then it might be time to remove the fear of failure. Try a comment like:
- We can just try
- It’s good to stretch yourself
- It will either be a success or a lesson on how to get better
It’s also worth considering that you’re suggesting something that’s just not possible. The trouble with this is that, in my experience, people who suggest such things have had enough to drink to be more confident, but also so much that they can’t sense their limits or those of others. They don’t think to question the possibility of their suggestion. It can be amusing watching someone sway side to side in sync (they think) with an expert dancer they are watching, and then think that those sways have programmed their body memory with an excellent figure that they are now about to execute flawlessly.
If you put effort into the above, then you will be a fun dancer. However, here’s another idea I got from another blogger on dance:
- Take the mindset that you are going to give someone else a fun time
- Look for a person who you want to give this too
- Ask them to dance
- Focus on making them have a fun time
- When the music is over – do it with another
Simply focusing on the experience of the other will make you someone other wish to dance with.