Dance Better Now

Overcoming self-doubt in dance

 

Many of us have worries that we do not dance well. This is despite the fact that logically we know we can dance. We have gone to dance classes, we have practiced and we have received feedback on our progression. But still, we have this self-doubt.

This makes it hard to enjoy dance. If we always doubt our abilities no matter how well we can actually dance, then we will never enjoy dance as much we could or should. And this is what makes self-doubt so insidious. When we should be dancing and enjoying ourselves, we are actually worried that we’re not dancing well, and upsetting the person we are dancing with or that others think less of us. Not only that, but it can also make us think about giving up or not putting as much effort in as we would really like.

Clearly, none of this is ideal. Therefore, overcoming self-doubt will let us enjoy dance more and put more effort into improving our ability.

There are two methods that you can use to overcome self-doubt in dance. One is a bit strange and the other will seem a little familiar. I have found the first one to be easier, but it needs and open mind. The second takes time, but it makes a little more sense.

Tapping

Tapping is based on acupressure points. Point that cause us to take on a more positive attitude toward anything we choose. From experience this works incredibly well.

You can learn more here.

However, let’s cover the basics now.

First, remember these points:

• The side of your hand –the karate chop part
• Just above the eye brows
• The cheekbone just below the eyes
• The upper lip
• The chin
• The collar bone
• The middle ribs on the side – just above where the elbow touches you sides when your arms are down
• The top of your head

Now take one of your greatest concerns about dance. Say not looking good, losing time or forgetting a step. Imagine it happening and notice how you feel.

Now in your head repeat this concern. Say something like ‘I will dance terribly because I will lose timing’ or ‘I just know I’ll do something wrong when dancing tonight’.

While repeating this statement spend around 5 – 10 seconds tapping each of the parts of your body listed above.

Once you have gone through the list, stop and think about your dancing again. You should notice that you feel better about it now.

Next, come up with a more positive statement. Say something like ‘I have been getting better at dancing and my timing since I have started. As long as I work at it I know I will get better’ or ‘Given my level, I am dancing well and everyone will know that’

Now repeat this statement while tapping each of your body parts on the above list for 5-10 seconds at a time.

Once that is done stop again and see how you feel. You will be feeling much better now.

Anytime you’re feeling stressed or in self-doubt about dance, go through the tapping procedure again.

If you want to find out more about tapping, then check out the link to the right and sign up to the email list. Margaret is excellent and really wants to help you.

Removing the fear of choking

Self-doubt can get right into our heads and make us choke when we need to perform at our best. There has been a lot of research into why we choke. The book shown to the right summarises a lot of this research. The author Sian Beilock has done a good job of explaining what we can do to reduce choking and in the process remove a lot of self-doubt.

If you take a look at it, then you will likely find something that you can use.

However, there are two techniques that are simple, make sense and have been tested to see that they work.

Get used to it.

The more you do something the less doubt you have about it. How many tive have you have had a doubt about your ability to walk?

If you think you can push through it, then this is a method worth trying. It will be difficult, but it will work. The other advantage is that it makes your practice as well so you get a double benefit. Before you take this path you need to be clear of one thing – you are going to intentionally put yourself in uncomfortable situations so that you can become stronger and no longer worry about them. Being clear about this in your head will help you apply yourself more and take the edge off the fear.

Once you have committed to this approach all you need do is find as many situations where you will need to dance. Ideally, situations that trigger your self-doubt. This could simply be group classes somewhere else, small comp’s within your dance school or social events. If you feel too stressed then just remember, that the purpose is to get over the stress.

Exorcise the concerns and enhance the positives

Have you ever noticed that when you talk about something that is troubling you that it no longer seems like such a big deal?

Often when we start to worry about something is gets locked up in our brain and we just keep focusing on it. It hangs around and ties us up in knots inside, and then fills us with self-doubt. However, if we get it out, then we feel a lot better.

Once of the easiest ways to get it out is to write it down. Writing it down sends a signal to the brain that the information has been stored, and no longer needs to be worried about. This then means it will no longer be the focus of our brain.

Side note – telling people about plans to exercise, lose weight, start a business etc. can be detrimental. By talking about it, the brain thinks the job is done and focus is lost. If you do talk about it, then make a promise or a prediction that compels you to follow through.

Once you have exorcised the doubt, it’s a good time to build confidence. Start to think about the things you can do. You have been practicing for a while so you have improved in numerous ways. We need to be reminded of this at times. With some conscious effort we can make our brain focus on the positives, and really reduce that self-doubt.

10 signs you have been taking social dance lessons long enough to call yourself a social dancer

1. You always have a pair of dance shoes in the car – just in case you drive past a random social dance function
2. Every time you hear music you can’t help but count the beat
3. When looking at clothes, you think about how easy or hard it would be to dance in – usually because you have had one wardrobe failure by now
4. When you hear music on the car radio, you start choreographing to it in your head – you later find out that it only worked in your head
5. When shopping for clothes you think about how it would look on the dance floor – sparkly stuff looks better than it used to as well (especially if you’re a Latin dancer)
6. Your body moves as you’re lying in bed as you go over dance steps in your head before sleep – hopefully the other person in bed dances too
7. When you see people dancing in movies you try to work out what type of dance they’re doing – you’re often unimpressed too
8. You either become frustrated with the traditional gender roles in partner dance or you get annoyed with people who are frustrated and keep talking about their frustration
9. You convert the cost of potential purchases into the equivalent number of dance lessons – this can then make drinking out less inviting
10. Fortunately you drink less when out – dance makes the effects of alcohol upon your balance much more evident and you realise that only 2 drinks is enough to give you the required confidence

6 Places to Practice Outside of Dance Class

Often we have troubles practicing outside of class because of space restrictions. Our homes are to small (especially if you’re working on modern or swing) and they often have the wrong type of floor. This can restrict the way we move, which in turn can develop bad habits and undo the development achieved in class.

Therefore, it’s good to have another suitable place that you can practice at when not in class.

Here’s some ideas.

1. Local College/University – I work at one so this is a good one for me; I have access. However, such places often have large rooms with suitable floors. You can often just walk on to a campus, find a place, and start practicing.
2. Work – you might work in a place that has a place that is open enough and has the right surface.
3. Local sports stadiums – I have practiced on squash courts, basketball courts and volleyball courts. Most indoor sports have a floor that is ideal for dance. Sometimes you need to hire them and sometimes you will find that there are periods when they are free. You can also hire half a court to keep costs down too.
4. Local halls – they almost always have the kind of floor that you need and are often available during the week. Hunt around to see what’s available at a time and place that suits. Think of Scout halls, Masonic halls, school halls, Church halls etc.
5. Local bars and clubs at low business times – I used to go to a local bar with a group of fellow students after a group lesson each week. This was a Tuesday night, and not many people were about. Also, most bars have some kind of a dance floor. As long as you’re buying drinks, they won’t ask you to leave. Others often like watching you too – free entertainment so it’s a win-win.
6. Your dance studio – most dance studios like seeing students come in to practice in their free time. I used to do that with a fellow student after our private lessons (we happened to have our private lessons at the same time). This is a really good way to meet other people too. If you’re learning dance to meet others, then you can also suggest you go out for lunch (or coffee or whatever) after the extra practice and then after that back to your place. It worked for me!

Some of these ideas require payment. In these cases, you might want to team up with other students and share the cost. Not only does this make it cheaper, but you can motivate each other to show up and practice regularly – we do not like letting others down. Also, it helps you make better friends in dance, which is always nice. Finally, when you practice with another student, without a dance teacher, you can very quickly reveal some misunderstanding that you have. If you and your fellow students disagree on how something is meant to be done, then try it your way and then their way to see if any of them work. If one does, then you’ve likely found it. If none of them or more than one seems to work, then it’s time to talk to your teacher again. This experience will allow for a much more informed conversation between you and your teacher. Recall the post about what teachers wanted and how most of them wanted to see more practice and a cooperative relationship with their students?

Also, some of these locations are public, and you might find it embarrasing to practice in such places. If you do not yet have a strong identity as a dancer, then this might be confronting. However, if you can get over it, then it actually makes for good practice dancing in front of others. If it is at work, then it will certainly help develop this identity. Everyone at my work now knows that I dance, and I am known as a dancer. This provides that extra motivation to me to be good a dancer.

So there are some ideas for places to practice outside of dance class and how you can use them to be a better dancer and increase your circle of dance friends. Do you have any other ideas for places where you can practice dance?

Do you have the identity of a dancer?

Those who dance and those who are dancers

Many of us dance, but how many of us are dancers? This might seem like an odd question – surely if you dance, then you’re a dancer. However, many people who do dance do not consider themselves to be actual dancers. Part of the reason for this is that we do not want to talk more highly of ourselves than our ability can meet. However, while this might seem sensible, it can actually detract from your motivation because you distance yourself from where you want to be.

The role of identity

The paradox that you might not be aware of is that you can actually improve your ability by saying that you are a dancer. This is actually used in numerous areas; you have heard people talk about affirmations or talking yourself into doing better. You might be quite dismissive of this notion. Surely action is required as opposed to just words and words can’t change reality. I certainly was dismissive of this when I first came across it. I didn’t care much my mother thought that me saying I would do better as school would help – I didn’t believe it.

However, there is actually some very sound reasoning behind this idea. The reasoning centres around a principle called ‘Consistency’.

When Michael Faraday (a British Scientists) was asked by his students if a disliked students was always wrong, his response was “He’s not that consistent.” This is an example of how important consistency is to us. You probably hate the idea of being inconsistent. In fact you probably hate it so much that in the past you have done things that were not that wise or in your best interest simply to ensure that you are consistent. It is in fact used very cleverly by advertisers and salesmen. The book below is very interesting if you want to learn more about the psychology of how we can be driven to do all sorts of things – be they good or bad for us.

However, we can use this to improve our dance. If we think of ourselves as dancers, then we will feel driven to ensure that we dance like dancers. Otherwise there would in inconsistency between our identity and what we can do.

Better dance through identity

If you simply tell people that you are a dancer, then you will quickly feel an urge from deep within you to ensure that you can dance at the level that a ‘dancer’ would. This urge will drive you to practice more intently and maintain greater focus as you do practice. This is how words will change things – through consistency.

 Next time someone asks what you do in your spare time do not say something like ‘I learn dance.’ Instead, say something like ‘I am a dancer.’ This subtle difference will trigger that part of you that wants consistency, and then drive you on to be a better dancer. It can be a bit scary – you’re making a bold claim – but that’s what makes it work.