Dance Better Now

Take the lead: how to lead in dance

Have you been struggling with leading your partner through dance steps? No matter what you try, when you are waltzing, doing the tango, dancing salsa, doing the two step, slow dancing or trying to swing dance, your partner never seems to know what figure you are trying to lead? You are not alone, many face this challenge when learning how do dance. What have probably discovered is that it is more than simply learning the figures. There is more to leading and how to dance. Let me tell you what it is so that you can start leading better now.

 

Step 1 - do you know your own figures?

I assume that you do. Usually when one starts to wonder about how well they lead it is when one knows the figures, but something is still not working. That's what happened with me. I knew the dance steps, I assumed that meant I knew how to dance, but evidence suggested the opposite. Still, it is wise to double check that you do indeed know the figures. If you are certain that you do, then read on; you're ready to take the lead.

Step 2 - who are you dancing for?

Much of leading comes from mindset- that's what turned it around for me. Once I took on the perspective that I was there to ensure that person I was dancing with was comfortable, able to perform their figures with ease and knew what I was leading, my ability to lead started to improve considerably.

Next time you're about to dance, anything from slow dance to Jive, think about who you are dancing for not just how to dance.

Step 3 - do you know the follow's steps?

This is something that has helped me. Just because you are the lead, you don't need to ignore the follow's steps. By learning these you not only know what the follow needs to do, but you then appreciate what is and is not hard about following. When you know this, you gain a greater appreciation of what a follow needs. From that you will gain a better intuition on how to lead.

Click here to get a free e-book on how to dance better

Step 4 - expand your awareness

The follows on from who you choose to dance for and knowing the follow's dance steps. Once you have these 2 sorted, you are ready to expand your awareness to the follow. When your awareness expands like this, you will almost feel like you are not leading, but simply moving. It is a little like riding a surfboard, a motor bike or a horse. You get that sense of connection, but this time it is with a person so it's more intense. There are 2 things you can do to expand your awareness, which is a key to how to dance.

Step 4a - visualise

When you lead a follow, imagine what you expect to happen next. Doing this in your head as you practice dance moves alone can also help. If you can "see" where the follow is and what they are doing, even if you're not looking at them, then you will have a better understanding of how to lead them. This is ideal for when you do a fan in rumba or cha cha or maybe a back to back in jive or swing.

Step 4b - feel

This is the same as visualising, but you focus more on what you feel. Try to feel your follow, where they are moving to and where their weight is. This is especially ideal for slow dance, tango and waltz where there is a lot of body contact.

Step 5 - Do you know what a "strong" lead is?

This is something that seems to arise from the differences in the way men and women talk and that usually women file while men lead. I recall myself and other men thinking that if their leads were any stronger, then they would be lifting their partners and carrying them around the dance floor. Men often think of strength as a physical thing. Women usually mean clarity when they talk about strength. Much like a strong signal in communications, not matter the surrounding noise, the message is clear. When leading think more about clarity, direction and goals than about physical strength.

Summary

Leading is a major part of how to dance. It requires more than dance steps. You need to become more aware of the follow and be clear with what you want – not forceful. This is true of all dances, two step, slow dancing, samba, salsa, foxtrot and all the others. Once you focus on understanding the needs of the follow, you awareness will increase and you will naturally take the lead.

 Click here to get a free e-book on how to dance better

How to lead and follow in dance in dance

Leading and following are probably the two most troublesome issues people have with partner dancing. Probably leading more than following, but still both of them.

 There are a few excellent articles out there on how to lead and follow – take a look at the end of this article for some of the ones that I think are better. Because of this, there is little need for me to repeat what others have said.

 Instead, in this article I am going to talk more about how you can think and some mental tools that you can use to increase your ability to apply the rules and suggestion of leading and following that you can find on other websites.

 Let’s just refresh the basis though so that we’re all on the same page.

As a lead you should:

• Be clear about where you want the follow to go
• Be smooth in your lead
• Be in agreement with the music

As a follow you should:

• Be sensitive
• Be responsive
• Offer enough resistance to allow for communication

 You can probably see form the above lists that the key issue is communication. Many people partner dancing as a conversation. And that’s not a bad analogy. By using the same attitude toward conversation as you do toward dance, your lead and follow can become better. So what does that mean? Well when you’re listening to someone you actually pay attention to them; your mind is not elsewhere. The same goes for when you’re talking to someone. Pay attention to them, think about what you want to say and then say it. If the message doesn’t get through, then maybe try saying it differently next time. If you think you’ve misunderstood someone, then try to think about what they did mean. You might not speak exactly the same language as each other – hopefully it’s just a different dialect or accent – once you get used to it all should be fine. Just like talking, a lot of fun can come from misunderstanding. If you’ve got the right attitude, then miscommunication in lead or follow will not be a major issue for you.

Nevertheless, we still want to be better at it. So here are some things you can try:

Extend your area of perception – we all have a fairly good feel for our own bodies. However, try to expand your sensory field to include your partner. By feeling what you do feel try to work out where their feet are, where their centre of weight is and the twist between their hips and shoulders. This will make you more aware of what your partner is saying or hearing.

Play with rigidity – we are often told that we need to offer the right amount of resistance and force or displacement. However, talking about it is different from feeling it. Play with this as you dance with different people and see the effect. I can tell you from personal experience that you need to consider the level of your partner when you do this – in the earlier levels people prefer force as opposed to subtlety.

Make sure you know what you want to achieve – this more for follows (which can include women if you acknowledge high-jacking). Before you say something you need to know what message you’re trying to communicate. Be clear on where you are going and then lead to go there.

Don’t think too much – leading and following should be like talking: you just do it. Imagine if you thought about each word before you said it. It could be slow and painful conversation. Rely on your feelings when you dance. This is more the case for follows, but it is a two way street. Nevertheless, do not think that this means self-reflection is not needed. You can always think about what happened and how you might want to change things for next time.

Decide what you want to be like – if you need to be more sensitive to your partner, then think the word ‘sense’ to yourself. This will make you more aware of what is going on. You can do the same if you need to increase smoothness, clarity, strength etc. The conscious thought will send the signal to your unconcious mind.

Try a sensory focal shift – this is a bit like being more aware. Maybe close your eyes or maybe focus more on what you hear, feel or what it is that you feel. This shift will open up your senses and make you more in-tune with yourself, your partner and the dance.

Other articles

These are some other articles that I have come across that I think are pretty good.

http://www.salsacrazy.com/leadingtips.htm

http://www.salsacrazy.com/followingtips.htm

http://www.rounddancing.net/dance/articles/guest/hamilton_lead.html

Men, are you even trying?

I regularly go to group classes that are run before many social events. It lets me get insights from other dancers, learn new figures and styles, dance with more partners (ideal for practice) and introduces me to new styles.

However, it has also revealed something else to me. The frequency with which women are simply disappointed with the quality of men they dance with.

I like to think that they confide in me because they don’t think I am not that bad. However, it is possible that they talk of others as a way to give me a message. In either case, it got me thinking that I should get to the bottom of this, and know what issues women have.

I then spent the next couple of months watching group classes more than focusing on my own dance. Probably not the smartest thing for me to do for my own dance, but it turned out to be informative. And confirmed that I probably did disappoint a few women while getting to the bottom of this.

In short, many men don’t try, but still seem to think that they are pretty good.

I noticed the following with men:

1. They focus on the right foot placement
2. They ignore character as their feet move from one place to the next
3. They are scared to try different embraces or use the one recommended
4. They focus so much on their own feet they forget to show their partner a good time

These were not common to all men and only a few would have all of these undesirable characteristics. However, there are a few things men can do to overcome these issues:

1. Make sure you are at the level you should be at for a group lesson
2. Realise that you do it harder at the start – you need to find foot work easy to pick up to do a group class – maybe you need a lot more privates of low level group classes before attending the group classes you want to go to. Do not think you can do the same number of lessons as women and be able to go to the same classes. You might need to attend classes at 3 times the rate to keep up.
3. Put some effort in. It’s not just foot placement. Do you want to dance well – putting your whole body and character into it – or do you just want to walk through it? This might be a rhetorical question, but it does have a right answer.

I can’t claim to be the best dancer around, but I have found that if you ensure your dance ability is equal to the lesson, focus on your partners and work on really dancing, then you can get a lot more out of these lessons and be more confident that you are not ruining it for others.

Final note: I have assumed men are leading. If you are a lady who leads, then the above is equally valid to you. Although my experience would suggest you probably need not worry about it; women seem to take leading more seriously.

The man ladies want to dance with

I have been writing about how to be a better partner dancer for some years now. In that time I have:

1. done a lot of research into how men dance better,
2. tried a lot of techniques to see if they improve dance ability,
3. spoken to many men about the things they find difficult, and
4. spoken to a lot of women about what they like in dance partners.

From all of this, I have found out what makes for the best male dancer*.

And I want to share that with you now.

In short, you need to be a gentleman dancer. You need to not only dance well, obviously, but you need to know how to dance WITH a woman.

It’s more than simply knowing figures.

For the woman you are dancing with it’s about being able to use what you know to take her on an adventure. Partner dance is about more than 2 people moving in sync with the music. It’s about:

• connecting with another person who makes you feel something – something good**
• noticing what that person feels in the music
• noticing how they express that feeling to their dance partner
• then joining them on the journey they are about to take

If you can do this, then you will be a man who knows he dances well and provides women the experiences that they expect (probably now hope) dance will offer. In short, you will be a fantastic dancer.

If you want to be the kind of dancer that women like – the gentleman dancer – then you need to master the following:

1. Physicality – for good masculine movement
2. Musicality – not just dancing in time with the music, but WITH the music
3. Learning dance – so you know that you are dancing as you should
4. Sensing – so you can pick up on all aspects of dance to provide a complete package
5. Confidence with women – so that she can feel trust*** when she dances with you
6. Presentation – so you look the part and complete the experience

You probably already have some, but there is likely to be something you feel you lack or have perhaps never thought of. Just imagine the feeling you will have when you know you can dance that well with a woman and you show her a good time. You CAN master these 6 attributes of the gentleman dancer. And I will show you how.

If you do want to master these attributes, and you should, then you can read more via a report that I have written on this topic. Fill out the form below, and I will send you the report now.

 

 

*I know that it need not be a man leading. This is just the context that this article is written in. Much of what is written here is valid for leads in general. By all means, if you are a womon, then you can still learn about leading from the report.

**It’s different from what men feel when they are with someone they like dancing with so many men don’t get it.

***But now you know what it is that women want to feel with a man before they dance with him. In the report, you will learn how to achieve this feeling in your dance partner

Is this the right way to become an excellent dancer?

Let’s consider one of the most common approaches taken on the path to the mastery of partner dancing. It goes like this:

1. Find a dance school with a good reputation – you can judge this by the awards they have, the number of studios, the number of students, the size or their events and membership of a national dance regulatory board.
2. Make an appointment for a trial lesson with a person who will potentially be you instructor.
3. If the trial seems to go well, then sign up for regular lesson – probably twice a week.
4. Work towards your first level (or medal) grading by learning routines of each style in one groups of dances
5. Then satisfy the first level in any other groups of styles you are interested in (street Latin, American Latin, Modern, American Smooth, American Rhythm and so on).
   1. Once you complete level 1 in your selected style grouping, you can say that you can dance
   2. Then on to the next level.
      1. The second level will make you a polished dancer.
      2. Then the next level.
         1. You will then be an advanced dancer.

Does this indeed make you an advanced dancer?

There are two defining features of the above approach:

1. A focus on routine
2. A social interpretation of standard figures

A focus on routine is ideal for learning figures, but not social dancing. A social interpretation is enough for social dancing, but it provides bad habits for dance sport. Thus, because of the routines you will not be well equipped for social dancing, but because of the social interpretation you will not be prepared for dance sport either. It’s like the worst of both worlds. You might have a good teacher who will encourage proper social dancing or focus more on technique than is needed. However, this will slow progress, which can frustrate you.

So what do you do?

If you like simply learning more and more challenging routines and being recognised for that, then this approach is fine.

If you eventually want to get into dance sport, then consider making the move early. You can then focus on technique.

On the other hand, if you wish to become a social dancer, then you can push your instructor to teach differently. This works well for follows – you can have your instructor not teach the routine, but just do the routine with you and show you how to follow. They can even do something different from the routine during training and then do the routine when you are graded. You get to reach a new level and learn to follow.

For leads, you just need to accept that learning a routine as well as how to lead will take more time than learning one or the other. You will need to enhance the learning process if you want to learn both at the same time.

What if you like learning at a social studio, you want to attain higher levels, learn to dance socially and dance with the proper standard (dance sport standard)?

You will need to do the following:

• Attend a school that does gradings and has a dance sport connection (This might be your school now, you might need to change schools or you might need to split your time).
• Manage your teacher to teach you the way you need to be taught so you can also to dance socially.
• Manage your own learning so that you can accelerate the rate you can learn all the dance skills you wish to learn.

The first one is fairly easy – just find another school if needed. You might even charge your teacher with learning about this higher standard. That brings you to the second point – managing your teacher.

If you can manage your teacher and yourself, then you can learn all you want. To know how to do this – click here.

How to lead and follow in dance in dance

 Leading and following are probably the two most troublesome issues people have with partner dancing. Probably leading more than following, but still both of them.

 There are a few excellent articles out there on how to lead and follow – take a look at the end of this article for some of the ones that I think are better. Because of this, there is little need for me to repeat what others have said.

 Instead, in this article I am going to talk more about how you can think and some mental tools that you can use to increase your ability to apply the rules and suggestion of leading and following that you can find on other websites.

 Let’s just refresh the basis though so that we’re all on the same page.

As a leader you should:

• Be clear about where you want the follow to go

• Be smooth in your lead

• Be in agreement with the music

As a follow you should:

• Be sensitive

• Be responsive

• Offer enough resistance to allow for communication

 You can probably see form the above lists that the key issue is communication. Many people partner dancing as a conversation. And that’s not a bad analogy. By using the same attitude toward conversation as you do toward dance, your lead and follow can become better. So what does that mean? Well when you’re listening to someone you actually pay attention to them; your mind is not elsewhere. The same goes for when you’re talking to someone. Pay attention to them, think about what you want to say and then say it. If the message doesn’t get through, then maybe try saying it differently next time. If you think you’ve misunderstood someone, then try to think about what they did mean. You might not speak exactly the same language as each other – hopefully it’s just a different dialect or accent – once you get used to it all should be fine. Just like talking, a lot of fun can come from misunderstanding. If you’ve got the right attitude, then miscommunication in lead or follow will not be a major issue for you.

Nevertheless, we still want to be better at it. So here are some things you can try:

Extend your area of perception – we all have a fairly good feel for our own bodies. However, try to expand your sensory field to include your partner. By feeling what you do feel try to work out where their feet are, where their centre of weight is and the twist between their hips and shoulders. This will make you more aware of what your partner is saying or hearing. 

Play with rigidity – we are often told that we need to offer the right amount of resistance and force or displacement. However, talking about it is different from feeling it. Play with this as you dance with different people and see the effect. I can tell you from personal experience that you need to consider the level of your partner when you do this – in the earlier levels people prefer force as opposed to subtlety.

Make sure you know what you want to achieve – this more for follows (which can include women if you acknowledge high-jacking). Before you say something you need to know what message you’re trying to communicate. Be clear on where you are going and then lead to go there.

Don’t think too much – leading and following should be like talking: you just do it. Imagine if you thought about each word before you said it. It could be slow and painful conversation. Rely on your feelings when you dance. This is more the case for follows, but it is a two way street. Nevertheless, do not think that this means self-reflection is not needed. You can always think about what happened and how you might want to change things for next time.

Decide what you want to be like – if you need to be more sensitive to your partner, then think the word ‘sense’ to yourself. This will make you more aware of what is going on. You can do the same if you need to increase smoothness, clarity, strength etc. The conscious thought will send the signal to your unconscious mind.

Try a sensory focal shift – this is a bit like being more aware. Maybe close your eyes or maybe focus more on what you hear, feel or what it is that you feel. This shift will open up your senses and make you more in-tune with yourself, your partner and the dance.

Other articles

These are some other articles that I have come across that I think are pretty good.

http://www.salsacrazy.com/leadingtips.htm

http://www.salsacrazy.com/followingtips.htm

http://www.rounddancing.net/dance/articles/guest/hamilton_lead.html

Dancing in the palm of your hand

The human hand is one of the most impressive example of sophisticated machinery on the face of the planet. What it can achieve is amazing. If you know how to take full advantage of its ability, then you will dance with your partner at a much greater level.

Just take a moment to look at your hand and think about what it can do:

• It can move from a flat surface that can easily slide
• It can form a tight ball like fist
• It can curve into a hook shape to hold onto something
• It can spread out to distribute load on contact
• It can grip around objects of various shapes
• It can apply a force
• It can sense pressure from another hand so that another dancer's position can be inferred
• it can twist and bend at the wrist so that it can do the above in different orientations
• It can then move to almost any position around the body on the end of the arm

Just stop and think about the above. You hand can do a lot for you by sending signals via movement and force and at the same time tell you a lot about what is going on with your dance partner.

To take full advantage of what your hand can do, it needs sufficient attention from you. 

Next time you are having troubles leading or following, try focusing on your hand: its position, shape, force applied force felt, movement and so on. There is potentially a clue to dancing better. As note, this is more likely to be an issue in your swing, Latin and street Latin dances, but always keep it in the back of your mind as a tool to use when you have dance issues.

The ultimate attribute of the excellent follow

For the past month or two I have been dancing a lot socially with as many follows (mostly women) as I can. I have been taking note of those I enjoyed dancing with and then asking them about how they dance and how they practice. This was all in an attempt to find out what makes for a good follow.

There were common things that came up that you are probably aware of already:

• Feeling the lead as opposed to trying to predict what it will/should be
• Not worrying if you get it wrong
• Using all the senses to feel the lead
• Knowing numerous figures so that the different leads were familiar
• Moving yourself as opposed to being expected to be pushed

However, within the context of more advanced dancing – where both lead and follow are experienced – there was one extra attribute that really separated the excellent follows from the good follows.

Musicality!

When dancing at a higher level a couple will change the nuances of their dance to reflect the music. I can vouch from personal experience that a follow who picks up on the way they lead is expressing the musicality, and then do the same or even better add to it, is pretty much the best follow you can dance with.

If you feel that your ability to follow has plateaued then it might very well be that you’re ready for the next step – following musicality. Next time you are dancing with a lead that you notice has strong musicality, then try picking up on their expression and then adding to it. You will find the experience much more enjoyable.

If you need to, then there are plenty of techniques that you can use to improve your musicality. Learn more about improving your musicality via the following:

Dance Better Now - Part 2

 

Do you need to know a lot of figures to be a good social dancer?

Something that bothers many social dancers is how many figures you need to know to be a good dancer.

Do you need to buy those DVDs with the extra salsa moves on them; do you need to do the next medal in modern or Latin so that you have more figures under your belt; should you go to that special workshop by that swing dance couple to learn those extra figures?

If you lead, then you worry that your partner will get bored. If you follow, then you worry that you might be led into something you do not know.

How many figures is enough?

Before I answer this, I want to relay three stories.

I recall being told explicitly that I did not have enough figures by a salsa dancer that I had been dancing with on and off for some time. We were talking about this topic – how many figures one needed to know. I had said, with some confidence, that I thought that I had enough to keep things interesting for anyone that I was dancing with.

 It became very apparent to me, very quickly, that at least one person thought that my contention was incorrect.

This led me to think that I needed to learn many more figures.

However, another story relates to one of the most interesting dancers I have ever encountered.

This was a dancer from South America who I encountered when I was living in China. This guy would do nothing but the salsa basic. However, whenever you watched him dance, you could see that he really felt the music. He looked like his entire like was in balance and satisfied when he danced. He was the epitome of contentedness: All from doing nothing but the basic.

He never had any troubles finding a partner to dance with. The women he danced with seemed to be able to pick up on his vibe, and get the same pleasure from dance that he was experiencing.

So then it looked like a large number of figures was not needed.

But there is one last story I want to share.

I danced with another woman where I tried to use a balance of moves and dance in sync with the music and express the music. Sometimes I dance simple figures, but really feeling the music. Other times, I danced a collection of figures in what I thought was a well-executed mini routine. And you know what she said to me? “I like it when you spin me.” All she really liked was being spun form one side to the other. It didn’t seem to matter too much whether I was expressing the music or putting together a nice collection of figure. She just liked to spin. However, she didn’t just want to spin on the spot; that would be silly. The spins needed to move and flow from one to the other.

So what can be extracted from these stories about the figures you need to learn?

Well it doesn’t hurt to know a few figures and how to put them together. It can be handy to know variations too so that you can mix it up a bit. That’s if you’re a lead. If you’re a follow, then it helps to know a few so that you can be led into what may come.

However, you probably can’t just rely on knowing figures. You need that musicality to really bring it to life.

And then, there might be times when the key is not a lot of figures or musicality, but focusing on a certain characteristics (maybe spins, but maybe not) while not being overt. For that you need to be able to link the right figures together and maintain flow.

That means that there are three things you have here:

1. Figures – the more the better
2. Expression – doing them with the music
3. Flow – knowing how to go from one to the other

If you think you’re fine with numbers 2 and 3, then look into more figures. However, if you have learned a lot, then make sure that you are OK with expression and flow. If you are not, then maybe look at the one(s) that need work before learning more figures.

Many of us fall into the trap of thinking we simply need more figures. There’s certainly nothing more with knowing many, but don’t go thinking that’s the silver bullet to better dance.

Do men feel like they lead you on the dance floor or carry you? Some advice on how to be a better follow

Recently I was at a dance event and happened to be on a table dominated by women. I mean numbers wise, and not personality wise. Part of the conversation got on to leading and following. Specifically on how some women find the instructions about how to follow that are given to them by their teachers are sometimes unclear.

They were told things like ‘Just let go’ and ‘You feel heavy’.

I am sure that these things make sense to the teacher saying them, but they were not to the students. The first thing that I would think is obvious is to simply look your teacher in the eye and say ‘What does that mean?’

I suggested this to the women I was talking to, but we also thought that we might as well try dancing and see if we could make sense of what these women had been told. So the dancing started. And we came up with some pointers that might be worth sharing with you.

Chances are you have been told all this by your dance teacher before, but maybe reading it here will trigger different parts of your brain than when your teacher tells you. This might make things click for you.

Hopefully you have an ‘ah ha’ moment or two when reading the following.

1.       You feel heavy

Do you need to be pushed or signalled?

It should be the second. You are meant to move yourself. The lead should give a signal, and you will then move yourself in accordance.

When starting some male instructors will push their students to make it clear what is expected. Some will also push to help correct movement when it is less than ideal. This certainly makes you look better on the floor, but it is not the way it’s meant to be done.

Focus on moving yourself.

2.       Just let go

One you get a signal, how much time do you spend working out what you’re meant to do?

If you have to spend much time at all, then you will be behind the beat and probably back to feeling heavy. Or it will seem that you’re apprehensive. Go with what you feel first and see what happens.

If you’re dancing socially, then the lead will assume it is his mistake – trust me; I do. Even if it’s not – just to be polite. If the lead gets annoyed, then he is not someone to worry about.

If it is in a class, then it’s a perfect time to work out if you have any misunderstandings about what each lead means. This can become especially important as you learn more figures. Each has a different lead; often with only subtle differences. As you learn more figures you need to pick up these subtle differences. You can also report back to a teacher if you had issues when dancing socially.

The more mistakes you make and points of confusion you find, the more of them you fix. And the more you fix, the better you dance.

So in summary:

• Do not expect to be pushed
• Move yourself when you feel the signal
• Do not spend time trying to work out where you are meant to go
• Move where it feels you should
• Do not stress if you go the wrong way
• Mistakes either are not a big deal or a chance to become more amazing
• Don’t guess what your teacher means when talk to you about following
• Communicate clearly by asking when working on becoming more amazing

One last note: men are told that a strong lead is not about pushing with force (although this is what that can mean to them when they first here the word strong). Instead it is about having a clear idea in their head about what they want to see happen. If you respond to signals like they are clear instructions, then you will get a chance to understand what a signal means or what the right signal should be or a little of both. Regardless of the case, at least someone will benefit through improved understanding.