Dance Better Now

Overcoming self-doubt in dance

 

Many of us have worries that we do not dance well. This is despite the fact that logically we know we can dance. We have gone to dance classes, we have practiced and we have received feedback on our progression. But still, we have this self-doubt.

This makes it hard to enjoy dance. If we always doubt our abilities no matter how well we can actually dance, then we will never enjoy dance as much we could or should. And this is what makes self-doubt so insidious. When we should be dancing and enjoying ourselves, we are actually worried that we’re not dancing well, and upsetting the person we are dancing with or that others think less of us. Not only that, but it can also make us think about giving up or not putting as much effort in as we would really like.

Clearly, none of this is ideal. Therefore, overcoming self-doubt will let us enjoy dance more and put more effort into improving our ability.

There are two methods that you can use to overcome self-doubt in dance. One is a bit strange and the other will seem a little familiar. I have found the first one to be easier, but it needs and open mind. The second takes time, but it makes a little more sense.

Tapping

Tapping is based on acupressure points. Point that cause us to take on a more positive attitude toward anything we choose. From experience this works incredibly well.

You can learn more here.

However, let’s cover the basics now.

First, remember these points:

• The side of your hand –the karate chop part
• Just above the eye brows
• The cheekbone just below the eyes
• The upper lip
• The chin
• The collar bone
• The middle ribs on the side – just above where the elbow touches you sides when your arms are down
• The top of your head

Now take one of your greatest concerns about dance. Say not looking good, losing time or forgetting a step. Imagine it happening and notice how you feel.

Now in your head repeat this concern. Say something like ‘I will dance terribly because I will lose timing’ or ‘I just know I’ll do something wrong when dancing tonight’.

While repeating this statement spend around 5 – 10 seconds tapping each of the parts of your body listed above.

Once you have gone through the list, stop and think about your dancing again. You should notice that you feel better about it now.

Next, come up with a more positive statement. Say something like ‘I have been getting better at dancing and my timing since I have started. As long as I work at it I know I will get better’ or ‘Given my level, I am dancing well and everyone will know that’

Now repeat this statement while tapping each of your body parts on the above list for 5-10 seconds at a time.

Once that is done stop again and see how you feel. You will be feeling much better now.

Anytime you’re feeling stressed or in self-doubt about dance, go through the tapping procedure again.

If you want to find out more about tapping, then check out the link to the right and sign up to the email list. Margaret is excellent and really wants to help you.

Removing the fear of choking

Self-doubt can get right into our heads and make us choke when we need to perform at our best. There has been a lot of research into why we choke. The book shown to the right summarises a lot of this research. The author Sian Beilock has done a good job of explaining what we can do to reduce choking and in the process remove a lot of self-doubt.

If you take a look at it, then you will likely find something that you can use.

However, there are two techniques that are simple, make sense and have been tested to see that they work.

Get used to it.

The more you do something the less doubt you have about it. How many tive have you have had a doubt about your ability to walk?

If you think you can push through it, then this is a method worth trying. It will be difficult, but it will work. The other advantage is that it makes your practice as well so you get a double benefit. Before you take this path you need to be clear of one thing – you are going to intentionally put yourself in uncomfortable situations so that you can become stronger and no longer worry about them. Being clear about this in your head will help you apply yourself more and take the edge off the fear.

Once you have committed to this approach all you need do is find as many situations where you will need to dance. Ideally, situations that trigger your self-doubt. This could simply be group classes somewhere else, small comp’s within your dance school or social events. If you feel too stressed then just remember, that the purpose is to get over the stress.

Exorcise the concerns and enhance the positives

Have you ever noticed that when you talk about something that is troubling you that it no longer seems like such a big deal?

Often when we start to worry about something is gets locked up in our brain and we just keep focusing on it. It hangs around and ties us up in knots inside, and then fills us with self-doubt. However, if we get it out, then we feel a lot better.

Once of the easiest ways to get it out is to write it down. Writing it down sends a signal to the brain that the information has been stored, and no longer needs to be worried about. This then means it will no longer be the focus of our brain.

Side note – telling people about plans to exercise, lose weight, start a business etc. can be detrimental. By talking about it, the brain thinks the job is done and focus is lost. If you do talk about it, then make a promise or a prediction that compels you to follow through.

Once you have exorcised the doubt, it’s a good time to build confidence. Start to think about the things you can do. You have been practicing for a while so you have improved in numerous ways. We need to be reminded of this at times. With some conscious effort we can make our brain focus on the positives, and really reduce that self-doubt.

How to lose that serious face when dancing, and have one that matches

A question from a reader:

Hi Clint

 Hope you are well. Its me again with a query I have.

Was just re-reading the idea of the Self 1 and Self 2. For me, I am a very analytical person (accountant haha) so for me, I need to know the routine 101% first along with the the footwork. Self 1 is definitely operating here and if I screw up I get a bit frustrated (esp with the Paso, given it’s such a fast dance for instance). How do I apply Self 2 so I don't "worry" about doing a mistake in terms of my footwork. I have medals in a couple of weeks’ time and I just want to dance naturally and not have that "thinking face" on whilst I go through it. Does this make sense?

Cheers

M

 

My answer:

This is not an uncommon issue. We want so hard to do well that we cannot trust our instinctual side. Even though that’s where we really need our dance to be and we know it too.

For those who can’t recall, the notion of Self 1 and Self 2 come from Tim Gallwey who made these notions famous along with the idea of the inner game when he wrote about tennis. The idea is that our conscious self is Self 1. It is analytical and ideal for when we need to reason. Self 2 is the part of us that just does things naturally – it’s the doing part. Think about those times when you made a mistake because you were concentrating so hard – that’s Self 1 taking too much control.

The key to letting Self 2 take over in a routine is to distract Self 1. Self 1 can really only do one thing at a time. If you distract it from a task, then Self 2 needs to take over. You can think about any thing while walking – it’s so natural that Self 2 does it.

So what are some ways of distracting Self 1?

One easy way is to simply talk. If you have an amenable dance partner, then talk to them about anything so that Self 1 is distracted. If you do this during practice, then you get better at handing control over to Self 2.

This is not ideal for a competition or exhibition.

Another technique is to give each figure a name (not the standard one) and then link the names into a story that uses those names. This will also help you remember the routine – it’s not something you can do quickly (we don’t all have the story telling ability of Stephen King), but it will likely mean you will never forget the routine. If you can also make the story fit the mood of the dance and music, then as you recall the story while doing the routine, then you will be more likely to have a congruent facial expression.

 

This is just an example set of 2. You can come up with others. The key is to keep your conscious mind (Self 1) distracted so that you rely on your automatic Self 2, which is better at this kind of stuff, to take over.

The Key to dancing better in 2014

Was dance a part of your New Year’s resolutions?

I know that some people are critical of them, but I think that they are good because they reveal what is important to us. However, there is one critique of New Year resolutions that I agree with. That’s the notion that too many resolutions are a problem.

Time and time again, I have read about:

•  how humans can’t keep a track of too many things at once
• how will power is limited, and is split when you have more tasks
• how any resolution needs a lot attention to see results
• how goals need to be specific

This can mean that if you want to get better at dance, then you might be taking on more than you realise. Is it movement that you want to be better; timing, musicality, leading and following; or a bit of everything? Pretty soon you can see that getting better at dance takes a bit of work.

There is one way to make this simple. You can of course say I will simply do as my teacher says and allocate 15 minutes each day to working on what my dance teacher tells me. This is an excellent approach. It’s simple to stick to and it will give you results. The only issue is making sure that you have a dance teacher who can see what limitations you have and can formulate practice tasks for you.

If you have such a teacher, then never let them go!

Many dance teachers can see what your limits are, but they might not be able to work out what you should do about it. Also, they might not be accustomed to setting homework. I am sure not too many of their students ask for it. Some I know just take up dancing to take a break from everything else.

This could mean that you will need to take on some responsibility.

You might need to find out what your weak at from your teacher and then work out what you can do about it. That might mean on the first day your 15 minutes is dedicated to finding exercises to improve something. The others will then be following those exercises. It might be the first two days if you can’t find exercises. Worst case scenario is that you need to work out your weaknesses and then find out what to do about it.

The less direction you get from your teacher, the less direction you have and the more initiative and will power you need.

If you do need to take a lot of initiative, then you will want to have dance alone as a New Year’s resolution. Because it will become a large task, you will not be able to afford the distraction of something else – like being nicer to the in-laws.

So before you set betting better at dance as a resolution this year, stop and think about how you can do this. If it’s possible to simply commit time to practice, then it’s a pretty easy task. Otherwise, break it down into smaller tasks and avoid distractions.

Can group classes kill your dance ability?

As I mentioned in the last post, I was recently at a dance recital. In that recital there were a number of routines performed by large groups where each member of the group did exactly the same thing.

In these performances, I noticed a number of people looking at others to ensure that they themselves were on time and doing the right figures. This got me thinking: is it always good to have a visual cue when learning to dance?

Once again, as I also mentioned I did in the last post, I posed this question on a LinkedIn group of dance teachers and coaches. The response was pretty unanimous – many students will rely upon others if they can and follow them. This prevents students from properly learning routines. That’s bad enough; however, it can also prevent students from learning how a figure should feel. One teacher in the conversation said that she would sometimes teach students without mirrors so that the students were less able to follow others or rely on visual cues. Instead, they would learn to trust and develop their memory and pay attention to how their bodies feel.

So what does this mean for you? It means that while it might be uncomfortable, you should isolate yourself from others and from mirrors when learning a routine or even how to do a figure. This will help build your memory and your ability to feel when a figure is done right. You need not do this all the time, but every once in a while will probably help. This could be a good tool for teachers – especially those training a group for a performance.

As an example - I had a friend who did not realise how much she was relying on mirrors and other dancers until she went to a medal night. Only then did she realise that she was always looking in the mirror and using visual cues from others to be able to complete the routine. Not a good place to be.

Ballroom Dancing is not for Sissies – Review

Ballroom Dancing is not for Sissies (An R-rated guide for partnership) by Elizabeth and Arthur Seagull is one of the best books on dance that I have read in a long time. The reason for it being such a good book is that it has a very unique perspective while still working within the established ballroom system. While it provides advice based on the level a couple is at (bronze, silver or gold) is does this from a perspective of psychology and relationships/partnerships. The authors themselves are psychologists who entered the dance world as adults and progressed to amateur competition. This means that they know what it is like for you learning dance and that they have that extra insight into the partnership of dance that comes with an understanding of psychology. You can see now why it’s unlikely to be like any book you have read on dance before.

What’s the intention of the book?

The basic intension of the book is to help you realise what challenge partner dancing can be and to equip you as best as possible to take on that challenge. While it does cover issues associated with physicality, most of the focus is on the psychology. And in that aspect it offers some original and very useful insight.

It was not until reading this book that I realised how confronting dance can be. As Elizabeth and Arthur point out in the book ‘Dancing assaults our defences.’ Dance is so intimate that it can reveal ‘leftovers’ from our development as it takes us back to an earlier stage of development. We might all have different leftovers, but confronting them is one of the key things that can make dance a challenge for an adult.

Understanding this was interesting enough for me, but Elizabeth and Arthur then go on demonstrate how you can handle this assault and become a better dancer by apply the three Rs (respect, responsibility and responsiveness) to our dance. As I read this I could think of many times when I could have seen a much greater improvement in my dance by applying the methods covered in this book. I also saw and better understood the behaviour of other people that I know through dance.

Along with explaining how you can be a better dancer with the three Rs they also introduce other concepts of dance that were new to me. Their explanation of the shared mind in partner dance was a real insight and an excellent way to explain why there is a lead and follow in dance. They also take time to explain the nature of leading and following from different perspectives and in light of modern changing values regarding sexuality and equality of the sexes.

What does it offer a dancer?

After reading this book, I now know what I can do to improve how I approach dancing for better learning. I am sure that you will to. It also helps you develop a better attitude toward your own dance, your partner, your teacher and others in your dance community. At the end of reading this book, you will feel that you are not only a better dance student, but that you are wiser about dance and learning it.

Is it easy to use?

I found this book very easy to read and understand. Not only that, but once you have read the first two chapters you can pretty much pick it up at any page and understand what is in there so that you can make use of it. Thus it is an excellent book to have as a reference for when you have a problem in dance that you’re not sure about how to tackle.

Would I recommend it?

I usually think that each book has a set audience, teachers, beginners, performers, competitors etc. However, while this book is aimed more at partners who compete, I would say that this is a book that should be in every dancer’s library. If you do not have a library yet, then this would be a pretty good start.

Where can it be bought?

I bought mine from Amazon (see the link below), but I am sure that most book shops could get it in. The ISBN is 978-1-4392-1050-5.

If you’re like me, and you have trouble giving people gift ideas, then this is an ideal one.