Dance Better Now

Take the lead: how to lead in dance

Have you been struggling with leading your partner through dance steps? No matter what you try, when you are waltzing, doing the tango, dancing salsa, doing the two step, slow dancing or trying to swing dance, your partner never seems to know what figure you are trying to lead? You are not alone, many face this challenge when learning how do dance. What have probably discovered is that it is more than simply learning the figures. There is more to leading and how to dance. Let me tell you what it is so that you can start leading better now.

 

Step 1 - do you know your own figures?

I assume that you do. Usually when one starts to wonder about how well they lead it is when one knows the figures, but something is still not working. That's what happened with me. I knew the dance steps, I assumed that meant I knew how to dance, but evidence suggested the opposite. Still, it is wise to double check that you do indeed know the figures. If you are certain that you do, then read on; you're ready to take the lead.

Step 2 - who are you dancing for?

Much of leading comes from mindset- that's what turned it around for me. Once I took on the perspective that I was there to ensure that person I was dancing with was comfortable, able to perform their figures with ease and knew what I was leading, my ability to lead started to improve considerably.

Next time you're about to dance, anything from slow dance to Jive, think about who you are dancing for not just how to dance.

Step 3 - do you know the follow's steps?

This is something that has helped me. Just because you are the lead, you don't need to ignore the follow's steps. By learning these you not only know what the follow needs to do, but you then appreciate what is and is not hard about following. When you know this, you gain a greater appreciation of what a follow needs. From that you will gain a better intuition on how to lead.

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Step 4 - expand your awareness

The follows on from who you choose to dance for and knowing the follow's dance steps. Once you have these 2 sorted, you are ready to expand your awareness to the follow. When your awareness expands like this, you will almost feel like you are not leading, but simply moving. It is a little like riding a surfboard, a motor bike or a horse. You get that sense of connection, but this time it is with a person so it's more intense. There are 2 things you can do to expand your awareness, which is a key to how to dance.

Step 4a - visualise

When you lead a follow, imagine what you expect to happen next. Doing this in your head as you practice dance moves alone can also help. If you can "see" where the follow is and what they are doing, even if you're not looking at them, then you will have a better understanding of how to lead them. This is ideal for when you do a fan in rumba or cha cha or maybe a back to back in jive or swing.

Step 4b - feel

This is the same as visualising, but you focus more on what you feel. Try to feel your follow, where they are moving to and where their weight is. This is especially ideal for slow dance, tango and waltz where there is a lot of body contact.

Step 5 - Do you know what a "strong" lead is?

This is something that seems to arise from the differences in the way men and women talk and that usually women file while men lead. I recall myself and other men thinking that if their leads were any stronger, then they would be lifting their partners and carrying them around the dance floor. Men often think of strength as a physical thing. Women usually mean clarity when they talk about strength. Much like a strong signal in communications, not matter the surrounding noise, the message is clear. When leading think more about clarity, direction and goals than about physical strength.

Summary

Leading is a major part of how to dance. It requires more than dance steps. You need to become more aware of the follow and be clear with what you want – not forceful. This is true of all dances, two step, slow dancing, samba, salsa, foxtrot and all the others. Once you focus on understanding the needs of the follow, you awareness will increase and you will naturally take the lead.

 Click here to get a free e-book on how to dance better

How to learn ballroom dancing with fewest dance lessons possible

Are you currently learning ballroom dancing or Latin dancing and wanting to improve faster? Are you perhaps thinking about dance lessons and want to know how to choose the best dance studio or dance school so you get the best value for money?

If you want to learn to dance as fast as possible, then read on. I have been there and done that, and I know how to get the most from your dance lessons.

If you want to master ballroom dance or Latin dance, then there are 4 things you should do:

1. Decide if you want to do private of group dance classes
2. Choosing a dance studio
3. Evaluate your teacher during your dance lessons
4. Use focused practice to improve your ballroom dancing outside of the dance school

Group versus private

Many people have preferences and will tell you different things about which dance lesson is best when it comes to group and private. Often what you hear from others tells you more about their personal on dance classes than it does about what’s good for you. The best thing to do is understand what each offers so you can find the best match for you.

Social interaction

Group dance classes offer a chance to meet and dance with many people, and are ideal for social people who like to interact with many people. Private dance lessons on the other hand are one on one, and are ideal for people who like to deal with one person at a time and know who they will be working with.

Learning style

When you are in a private dance class, you are basically being told what you need to do. This can be better for people who like to be told exactly what they need to do. When you learn ballroom dancing in a group dance lesson, you will need to work out some stuff yourself. This is good for people who like a chance to try themselves first and ask questions when they need to.

Focus

Group lessons are usually more interested in social dance along with lead and following. Privates are usually more focused on technique and gradings. You need to think about why you want to learn ballroom dancing and what you want from the dance school you choose.

Cost

Dance studios that focus on private ballroom lessons will usually charge 3-5 times more per hour than what dance schools using group lessons will charge. Most dance studios and dance schools do both; they just normally have a preference. As a general rule, you will learn 3-5 times faster in a private lesson so you will probably have to pay the same to get to a certain level no matter which avenue you take. It’s more about your preferences.

Once you have a feel for what kinds of classes you want, it is time to choose a dance studio.

Choosing a dance school

It is most likely that after reading the previous section you have a preference for one type of dance lesson, but will still on occasion want to take the other type. Therefore, you want to find a dance studio that does both. Fortunately, most do. However, dance studios do usually have a preference so restrict your search to dance schools that lean toward your preferences.

That being said, there are some other attributes that you can look for:

1. Do they offer a chance to apply what they teach? You’re learning for a reason so look for a school that will help you get into the competitions you want or that runs some kind of social event you can dance at or runs exhibitions that you can perform in. Once again you need to know what you’re interested in: social dance, dance sport, putting on shows, some mix of the 3.
2. Where do they get their certification? Some dance studios self-certify, that might be OK with you, some are members of independent dance organisation that certify. You need to work out which works for you. I know some who effectively self-certify, but staff spend time travelling to the cultural heartland of the dances they teach to stay abreast of the latest methods and styles. Once you know what you’re interested in, you know what to ask of a potential dance school.
3. What’s the demographic of the dance studio? If you are going to be dancing with others, then you want to know that they are people you are comfortable dancing with. This might depend upon age, religious beliefs, degree of social progression, formality and so on. I know some people who loved their dance classes, but not some of the people they danced with. They then left dance and never returned. Make sure you choose a dance studio that works for you.

Once you have a dance school, you need to evaluate your teacher.

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How to maximise the time between classes for better dance

Do you ever feel that you are just spinning your wheels between classes? You have worked out what the issue is, but you are worried:

1. You are not able to practice properly without a partner
2. You might practice incorrectly, due to not knowing enough, and develop bad habits

The effect is that the motivation and nascent insights you gain in one lesson cannot be taken advantage of. Because of this, you need to repeat aspects in the next lesson. It’s like 2 steps forward with 1 step back.

The solution is to halt the lesson about 5-10 minutes before the scheduled end.

You know what it is that you need to work on: Maybe timing, maybe foot placement, maybe balance, maybe remembering to place your hand somewhere. However, what you need is simpler exercises that you can drill confidently. Exercises that will help develop the attribute that you need to solve the challenges you face at that time.

Just before the lesson ends talk to your teacher about what you can do between classes to help the issue. Ensure that you make the following clear:

1. You do not know what it is you are working on well enough to practice that
2. You need something you can do alone
3. You need something simple enough so that you will not get it wrong
4. It needs to be something that will help you overcome the immediate challenge you have

This seems a serious task; however, I have found that most teachers are capable of drawing on their experience to come up with something. Not only that, but they seem to enjoy the challenge: more engaging than the typical passive student.

You might need practice asking for the right kind of exercises and your teacher might need practice too; don’t be disheartened if you don’t get perfect exercises first time you try this. Keep at it, and it will eventually become a standard learning technique you use to become a better dancer.

Mistakes about learning dance

At a recent dance studio social/comp night, I was talking to a group of fellow dancers about the way people learn (and sometimes do not learn) dance. This resulted in a number of the common mistakes that people can make when learning dance being identified. Let’s go over these now to see if you might be making some of these mistakes and what can be done about it if you are.

Thinking it’s all about the figures

Much teaching of dance focuses upon teaching a figure. Thus, is it no surprise if you think to be a better dance, you must know more figures and harder figures. If you have trouble dancing and you decide to get a DVD of dance figures (or go to a dance workshop to learn more figures or something like that), then first check that the issue you have is indeed no knowing enough figures. Sometimes that is an issue – especially for leads. However, it is only sometimes!

Forgetting attributes

Often the issue is not what we know about dance, but the way we dance. We know what we are meant to do, but it just doesn’t happen. You might be told to dance on the beat, but that does not mean you will. You might be told to move smoothly, but that does not mean you can. You might be told to relax, but being told to relax can be stressful for many.

In cases like this, you need to think about not the dance, but about YOU.

• Do you need more flexibility?
• Do you need to work on understanding music?
• Do you need to work on confidence?

These are just examples, but they are the type of questions you can ask yourself. Try to work out what it is about you that stops you from dancing as well as you could. Think about coming up with a list of things you think might hold you back. Then think about what you can do for each of these listed items.

Not trying a different mind set

One thing that often holds people back is the way they approach learning. If you are used to learning a certain way, one that might have worked well in other contexts, then it might not be ideal for learning some aspects of dance (yet you keep using it). Some examples:

• You might be good at remembering lots of facts for exams, but that will not help you learn to lead and follow different people.
• You might have focused on understanding basic principles and then applying them in different cases, but that will not help you respond quickly when dancing socially on a crowded floor and you need to be intuitive.
• You might have used methods of remembering a series of events, but you can’t go through your mnemonic technique at your owns pace when dancing a routine to music.

If you are having troubles learning some aspect of dance, then take the time to consider your learning approach. It might be that using a different approach will yield improved results.

Thinking it stops

Dance is not like riding a bike. Things can fall out of your head (and your body memory). Do not make the mistake of thinking that once you have learned a step or passed a certain level, that you will always have those skills and figures in your head. Instead, if you notice you lose something, then work on getting it back.

Don’t get annoyed by this. The fact that dance needs this effort is what makes it so good for your brain. Each time you are relearning, think about how you will not be mentally slow as you age.

Thinking you should learn from good dancers as opposed to good teachers

Just because someone dances well does not mean they know how to teach. In fact, if someone dances really well, then they probably do not understand what you are going through, and they are not able to help you. Don’t look only for a good dancer; try to find a good teacher.

Note also, that there is no such thing as a good teacher. There is only such thing as a good student teacher relationship. You might need to change teachers simply to get the match. And sometimes what you needed at an earlier stage of learning is not what you need now. Do not be afraid to change teachers if you need it or to even engage another for special needs at the same time.

Not really knowing what you are learning for

Do you know why you are learning to dance? Sometimes people are just there and do not really know why they are dancing. Without that focus/motivation, it’s hard to learn to dance well.

On top of that, if you know what you are dancing (for social dancing, sport, exhibition, to meet people of the opposite sex, to take on a challenge etc.), then you can better tailor your learning strategy to you needs.

Think about why you are learning dance, then use that for motivation and aligning your learning efforts with what you need to learn.

Dance step tutorials: Why the best way to teach dance is the wrong way

 Have you been dancing for a while and found that you’re still learning, have issues or maybe even feel that you have more issues with your dancing than you used to? You might even be searching the internet for dance step tutorials so that you can find something that you’re missing, and then master your dance. Well you’re certainly not alone. Many of us are trying to find something that will make us feel that we are improving faster or at a rate that fits with our expectations of ourselves. We do this because sometimes we’re unlearning what we thought was good dancing. We also do it because dance has started to become a challenge when once it was more fun, and we want that fun back

Why does dance progress in such an odd way?

 The reason for these issues is that dancing is actually taught wrong. At the beginning you’re taught basic steps with little attention to proper styling of subtle requirements. Or you might focus on easier danmces such as mernegue, which often gives a quick sense of achievement.

 When this happens you have a lower standard to reach. You go along happily picking these new steps thinking all is fine. However, it is not. You dance teacher is actually allowing you to develop a lot of bad habits. Because they do not control what you do, you will start moving your body in whatever way feels good, comfortable or normal to you. The chances of this movement being the same as what is expected at a higher level are very low. 

This means that you will spend some time (maybe years) training your body to dance a way it’s not meant to. That’s how you end up with bad habits that need to be unlearnt, that’s how you end up finding dance less fun and more challenging and that’s why you end up searching the internet for dance step tutorials and hoping you’ll find that secret to dancing better.

So what is the most effective way to learn dance?

 The question of the best way to learn is not unique to dance. It is actually something that has been considered in many other areas. Let’s consider three different areas: martial arts, engineering and public speaking. That’s a pretty diverse group of activities.

 Many of us remember the ‘wax on, wax off’ of the first karate kid movie.  Poor Ralph Macchio had to do that for hours (plus many other chores) before he could get into any ‘real’ training.

 What about engineering? Would you feel safe if an engineer’s first lesson was desiging a bridge that you were about to drive over? Probably not. You’d want them to have learnt how to calculate stress in the bridge and ensure that the stress will not be greater than the bridge material can handle. That’s why engineers need to complete a degree first.

 So now what about public speaking? Have you seen The King’s Speech? King Georg VI of Britain needs to overcome a speech problem so that he can speak in public. A lot of his training has little to do with public speaking before he actually tries it.

 The common theme you have seen here is that it is more efficient to take time building the attributes that allow us to do something as opposed to simply doing that something. The same is true of dance (pretty much anything really). We should start by developing our musicality, our body’s dexterity and grace, and our ability to feel another body so that we may lead and follow.

 However, we know that dance isn’t taught like that. This is why you now probably have problems and why you are looking for dance step tutorials on the internet. You’re dealing with all this baggage that comes from being taught how to dance the wrong way.

 Why do we learn like this? That’s a very good question and the easiest way to answer it is to think back to when you started to dance. It was fun wasn’t it? It was also social – unlike martial arts, engineering and public speaking. And it was important that you could do something worthwhile at the start, otherwise why would you go to class. It really is vital to have some small wins at the start. We learn dance this way so that we enjoy it. It is the wrong way to learn, but it is the best way.

What should you do?

 Now that you know you are learning the wrong way, but it is the best way, you need to take action. The fact that you have come to this page is a good sign – it shows that you have already realised this and you’ve decided to be proactive. They best thing to do now is look at building attributes. Focus on the following as you see fit:

• Increasing musicality – there are a lot of resources that focus on musicality specifically, and you can find them with an internet search
• Improving body movement – there are a lot of resources to help with this too, and they can also be found with an internet search
• Accepting that you will need to unlearn dance habits (which might look like a drop in dance ability) and learn new (and better) dance habits

To split or not

When it comes to learning figures, sometime breaking them down can help. However, at other times, it will do the opposite.

What makes the difference is the points where you break a figure.

We sometimes break figures up based on the number of movements or where there is a change in direction. This often works well, but be mindful of something.

Sometimes a section of a figure can involve a large number of movements or use movement in one direction to wind the body up for movement in another direction. You can be tempted to learn part of a figure up to the point where there is a change in direction – this seems sensible.

However, when you do not know you are winding up for a change in direction, the earlier moves can seem unnatural. You can dance assuming a continuous movement, which is not congruent with the figure. Then once you understand the change in direction, and the need to wind up, you can do the earlier moves of the figure correctly.  

Take a look at the video below of the Ocho Cortado – Tango often has good example of figures where misplaced break points can hamper learning.

 

 

Think about points that might at first seem like ideal ones to pause as your learn the figure by breaking it up. Now consider if maybe they would not be ideal for the sake of ensuring that actions are well executed to prepare for future actions.

Consider how you should break up figures – in your head or for practice to make learning and execution easier.

Men, are you even trying?

I regularly go to group classes that are run before many social events. It lets me get insights from other dancers, learn new figures and styles, dance with more partners (ideal for practice) and introduces me to new styles.

However, it has also revealed something else to me. The frequency with which women are simply disappointed with the quality of men they dance with.

I like to think that they confide in me because they don’t think I am not that bad. However, it is possible that they talk of others as a way to give me a message. In either case, it got me thinking that I should get to the bottom of this, and know what issues women have.

I then spent the next couple of months watching group classes more than focusing on my own dance. Probably not the smartest thing for me to do for my own dance, but it turned out to be informative. And confirmed that I probably did disappoint a few women while getting to the bottom of this.

In short, many men don’t try, but still seem to think that they are pretty good.

I noticed the following with men:

1. They focus on the right foot placement
2. They ignore character as their feet move from one place to the next
3. They are scared to try different embraces or use the one recommended
4. They focus so much on their own feet they forget to show their partner a good time

These were not common to all men and only a few would have all of these undesirable characteristics. However, there are a few things men can do to overcome these issues:

1. Make sure you are at the level you should be at for a group lesson
2. Realise that you do it harder at the start – you need to find foot work easy to pick up to do a group class – maybe you need a lot more privates of low level group classes before attending the group classes you want to go to. Do not think you can do the same number of lessons as women and be able to go to the same classes. You might need to attend classes at 3 times the rate to keep up.
3. Put some effort in. It’s not just foot placement. Do you want to dance well – putting your whole body and character into it – or do you just want to walk through it? This might be a rhetorical question, but it does have a right answer.

I can’t claim to be the best dancer around, but I have found that if you ensure your dance ability is equal to the lesson, focus on your partners and work on really dancing, then you can get a lot more out of these lessons and be more confident that you are not ruining it for others.

Final note: I have assumed men are leading. If you are a lady who leads, then the above is equally valid to you. Although my experience would suggest you probably need not worry about it; women seem to take leading more seriously.

The woman everyone wants to either dance like or dance with

I have been writing about how to be a better partner dancer for some years now. In that time I have:

1. done a lot of research into how to dance better,
2. tried a lot of techniques to see if they improve dance ability,
3. had friends try techniques to see if they improve dance ability,
4. spoken to many women about the things they find difficult, and
5. spoken to a lot of men about what they like in dance partners.

From all of this, I have found essence of what makes for the best women dancers*.

And I am going to share this with you now.

In short, you need to be a graceful dancer. You need to not only dance well, obviously, but you need to be a lady that has poise and affability on the dance floor.

It’s more than simply knowing figures.

The best female dancers:

• have an affability that makes it easy to ask them to dance and connect with
• can feel emotion in the music
• notice how others express the feelings in the music
• move with grace in response to leads that they can feel

When you have these qualities, you become that woman that you have seen on the dance floor who looks at home there. You glide along the floor and turn expressing the character of the music and catch everyone’s eye as you have the kind of experience that we all want from dance. Think about those women you see dancing like that – it can be you.

If you want to be one of the best women dancers, then you need to master the following:

1. Physicality – for good feminine movement
2. Musicality – not just dancing in time with the music, but WITH the music
3. Learning dance – so you know that you are dancing as you should
4. Sensing – so you can pick up on all aspects of dance to follow and express yourself
5. Affability – so your partner connects, and creates that unique dance experience

You probably already have some these, but there is likely to be something you feel you lack or have perhaps never thought about.

Imagine if you had all of them, and you were like those other dancers you see and envy. You CAN master these 5 attributes of the best female dancers. And I will show you how so that dance can be what you want it to be.

If you do want me to tell you how to master these attributes, and you should, then you can read more via a report that I have written on this topic. Fill out the form below, and I will send you the report now.

 

 

 

*I know that it need not be a woman following. This is just the context that this article is written in. Much of what is written here is valid for leads in general. By all means, if you are a man, then you can still learn about following from the report.

The man ladies want to dance with

I have been writing about how to be a better partner dancer for some years now. In that time I have:

1. done a lot of research into how men dance better,
2. tried a lot of techniques to see if they improve dance ability,
3. spoken to many men about the things they find difficult, and
4. spoken to a lot of women about what they like in dance partners.

From all of this, I have found out what makes for the best male dancer*.

And I want to share that with you now.

In short, you need to be a gentleman dancer. You need to not only dance well, obviously, but you need to know how to dance WITH a woman.

It’s more than simply knowing figures.

For the woman you are dancing with it’s about being able to use what you know to take her on an adventure. Partner dance is about more than 2 people moving in sync with the music. It’s about:

• connecting with another person who makes you feel something – something good**
• noticing what that person feels in the music
• noticing how they express that feeling to their dance partner
• then joining them on the journey they are about to take

If you can do this, then you will be a man who knows he dances well and provides women the experiences that they expect (probably now hope) dance will offer. In short, you will be a fantastic dancer.

If you want to be the kind of dancer that women like – the gentleman dancer – then you need to master the following:

1. Physicality – for good masculine movement
2. Musicality – not just dancing in time with the music, but WITH the music
3. Learning dance – so you know that you are dancing as you should
4. Sensing – so you can pick up on all aspects of dance to provide a complete package
5. Confidence with women – so that she can feel trust*** when she dances with you
6. Presentation – so you look the part and complete the experience

You probably already have some, but there is likely to be something you feel you lack or have perhaps never thought of. Just imagine the feeling you will have when you know you can dance that well with a woman and you show her a good time. You CAN master these 6 attributes of the gentleman dancer. And I will show you how.

If you do want to master these attributes, and you should, then you can read more via a report that I have written on this topic. Fill out the form below, and I will send you the report now.

 

 

*I know that it need not be a man leading. This is just the context that this article is written in. Much of what is written here is valid for leads in general. By all means, if you are a womon, then you can still learn about leading from the report.

**It’s different from what men feel when they are with someone they like dancing with so many men don’t get it.

***But now you know what it is that women want to feel with a man before they dance with him. In the report, you will learn how to achieve this feeling in your dance partner

Why does Bindi Irwin dance so well?

On this Season of Dancing With the Stars Bindi Irwin has pulled off some remarkable performances and got the scores (and final victory) to prove it. Many of us would not expect this from the daughter of a crocodile hunter. Her dance partner Derek Hough, noted that at the start she could not dance “No joke, she could not dance,”.

She has surprised many with how well she dances.

She has something that helps her dance so well. This makes her an ideal person to study to understand how we can all become better dancers. If we can work out what helps her dance so well, then we can emulate this.

Physicality

Bindi’s posture did improve over the season. However, that was more a result of mindfulness.  Derek noted that she became aware of her body as she practiced more. Once she was aware of this, she could produce the right posture. If you watch her dance, then you can also see how strong and clear her movements are. Bindi has had an active life, which has given her a physicality that is ideal for dance.

The lesson: if you find that your body does not have the ability to move as you wish, then you probably need to engage in dedicated exercises to build the strength that is needed for dance. Take a look here to learn some of these.

Musicality

Whenever I watch Bindi dance, I can tell that she has a sense of timing. When she did tango to Shook Me All Night Long by AC-DC Bindi spoke about how music reminds her of her past. Because music plays such a role in her life, Bindi has a deeper connection to it, and thus a sense of timing and expression. This lets her then focus on learning routines and movement without needing to put extra effort into paying attention to the music - she feels it naturally, and will be in sync when she dances.

The lesson: focus on music separately. Listen to it and connect with it. If you want to learn methods to pick up timing faster, then take a look here.

Learning

Because of her age, Bindi would still be accustomed to learning from others. Many children learn well because they think they have too. When you feel compelled and have no alternative, then you learn fast. Kids don’t actually have that much of an advantage when it comes to learning – they just have no alternative. Bindi’s mother commented how much she has grown over the season and how Derek had a lot to do with this – Bindi was able to learn a lot more than just dance. Bindi is accustomed to learning from others, and lets that happen. Thus she can learn dance fast.

The lesson: We need to learn to learn. We also need to simply put the time in to learn. This can mean study in your own time. I can mean really paying attention to your teacher. It also means that you should manage the way you learn – learning dance is different from learning other things, and you might need to adjust your learning style. If you want to know how to tune your learning strategy to become a better dancer, then take a look here.

Attitude

The Halloween dance showed how much Bindi can get into her dancing. When you want to perform, you are indeed performing; it is a lot like acting. Bindi has experience acting and she also seems to like doing everything she does well.

The lesson: if you want to succeed as a performance dancer, then you need to realise that you are acting too. Work on your body language and attitude to match the dance. If you want to learn some tricks to being able to express and act in dance, then take a look here.

Summary

Bindi dances well and learned to dance well fast because she had the attributes that make a good dancer: musicality, physicality, nd ability to learn and attitude. These can be developed outside of dance so that you too can learn dance fast. Learn more about developing attributes to dance better faster here.