Dance Better Now

How to learn ballroom dancing with fewest dance lessons possible

Are you currently learning ballroom dancing or Latin dancing and wanting to improve faster? Are you perhaps thinking about dance lessons and want to know how to choose the best dance studio or dance school so you get the best value for money?

If you want to learn to dance as fast as possible, then read on. I have been there and done that, and I know how to get the most from your dance lessons.

If you want to master ballroom dance or Latin dance, then there are 4 things you should do:

1. Decide if you want to do private of group dance classes
2. Choosing a dance studio
3. Evaluate your teacher during your dance lessons
4. Use focused practice to improve your ballroom dancing outside of the dance school

Group versus private

Many people have preferences and will tell you different things about which dance lesson is best when it comes to group and private. Often what you hear from others tells you more about their personal on dance classes than it does about what’s good for you. The best thing to do is understand what each offers so you can find the best match for you.

Social interaction

Group dance classes offer a chance to meet and dance with many people, and are ideal for social people who like to interact with many people. Private dance lessons on the other hand are one on one, and are ideal for people who like to deal with one person at a time and know who they will be working with.

Learning style

When you are in a private dance class, you are basically being told what you need to do. This can be better for people who like to be told exactly what they need to do. When you learn ballroom dancing in a group dance lesson, you will need to work out some stuff yourself. This is good for people who like a chance to try themselves first and ask questions when they need to.

Focus

Group lessons are usually more interested in social dance along with lead and following. Privates are usually more focused on technique and gradings. You need to think about why you want to learn ballroom dancing and what you want from the dance school you choose.

Cost

Dance studios that focus on private ballroom lessons will usually charge 3-5 times more per hour than what dance schools using group lessons will charge. Most dance studios and dance schools do both; they just normally have a preference. As a general rule, you will learn 3-5 times faster in a private lesson so you will probably have to pay the same to get to a certain level no matter which avenue you take. It’s more about your preferences.

Once you have a feel for what kinds of classes you want, it is time to choose a dance studio.

Choosing a dance school

It is most likely that after reading the previous section you have a preference for one type of dance lesson, but will still on occasion want to take the other type. Therefore, you want to find a dance studio that does both. Fortunately, most do. However, dance studios do usually have a preference so restrict your search to dance schools that lean toward your preferences.

That being said, there are some other attributes that you can look for:

1. Do they offer a chance to apply what they teach? You’re learning for a reason so look for a school that will help you get into the competitions you want or that runs some kind of social event you can dance at or runs exhibitions that you can perform in. Once again you need to know what you’re interested in: social dance, dance sport, putting on shows, some mix of the 3.
2. Where do they get their certification? Some dance studios self-certify, that might be OK with you, some are members of independent dance organisation that certify. You need to work out which works for you. I know some who effectively self-certify, but staff spend time travelling to the cultural heartland of the dances they teach to stay abreast of the latest methods and styles. Once you know what you’re interested in, you know what to ask of a potential dance school.
3. What’s the demographic of the dance studio? If you are going to be dancing with others, then you want to know that they are people you are comfortable dancing with. This might depend upon age, religious beliefs, degree of social progression, formality and so on. I know some people who loved their dance classes, but not some of the people they danced with. They then left dance and never returned. Make sure you choose a dance studio that works for you.

Once you have a dance school, you need to evaluate your teacher.

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A technique for better dance movement: what is the Alexander technique?

For the past couple of months I have been seeing an Alexander to help improve my mobility for general benefit and to improve my dance. This post is about the benefits I had on doing this so that you can decide if it is something for you.

The Alexander Technique

The Alexander technique is a system that helps you move more efficiently so that you can perform your tasks (whatever they be) more efficiently. It was developed by Frederick Matthias Alexander who was a stage actor who had troubles keeping his voice throughout a play despite all doctors at the time telling him he was in sound health. After watching himself in the mirror as he practiced acting he noticed oddities in his posture. By focusing on his posture he found his issues was resolved. He later saw others with the same issue and noticed that by focusing upon posture and self awareness that anyone could improve their efficiency and their overall well-being.

He developed a system that could be used by what he called 'teachers' to impart better habits of movement upon his 'students'. I am unsure why he did not call them patients, but it might be because it is about teaching people better habits.

The typical session involves you taking various positions, standing or sitting or laying down, while the teacher will place hands on you to encourage the relaxation of certain muscle groups. They will also ask you to conduct certain movement as they guide your body. There will also be some imaging techniques, which are very familiar to most dancers. Finally, in my case at least, you get some exercises to do at home.

The best thing about the technique for most is that the method is very easy on you. You spend much or your time laying down so you get the benefits with little effort. 

Benefits

As a dancer I like to think I am fairly aware of my body and movement. I have been working on that to improve my dance for some time now. However, I still found more awareness from these sessions. Especially with parts of my body my teachers of the past have mentioned. Especially letting my shoulders drop. Since doing these sessions I have:

• Felt less pain when in general - we all have aches and pains at times
• Been able to adjusts what I do to limit the onset of fatigue and strain - most notably when walking while on holiday in  Tasmania, which is where Frederick Matthias Alexander was born, so that was poetic
• Felt more grounded in my feet - I have some pronation, which now feels reduced
• Felt less aches when dancing
• Felt more control over my posture when dancing

Recommendations

I would recommend this to anyone - it worked for me so it should work for you. Even if you do not get benefit from it, you at least know you have worked out that you're in good shape. However, you will probably have some issues that can be resolved. For dance I would especially recommend it if you have any of the following issues:

• Contracted shoulders
• Hunched posture
• Poor hip movement
• You fall into steps at times
• You ever feel pain from dancing for longer periods
• Stiffness in your back
• Poor head position

Where to find a practitioner

In these days of the internet it is very easy to type Alexander technique and you local area into a search engine and find someone near you. I found one a block away. 

More information

This is a pretty good article on how to be a better dancer from the perspective of an Alexander teacher - The Biggest Mistake Dancers Make. It shows both what Alexander teachers know and gives advice on how to dance better.

How to maximise the time between classes for better dance

Do you ever feel that you are just spinning your wheels between classes? You have worked out what the issue is, but you are worried:

1. You are not able to practice properly without a partner
2. You might practice incorrectly, due to not knowing enough, and develop bad habits

The effect is that the motivation and nascent insights you gain in one lesson cannot be taken advantage of. Because of this, you need to repeat aspects in the next lesson. It’s like 2 steps forward with 1 step back.

The solution is to halt the lesson about 5-10 minutes before the scheduled end.

You know what it is that you need to work on: Maybe timing, maybe foot placement, maybe balance, maybe remembering to place your hand somewhere. However, what you need is simpler exercises that you can drill confidently. Exercises that will help develop the attribute that you need to solve the challenges you face at that time.

Just before the lesson ends talk to your teacher about what you can do between classes to help the issue. Ensure that you make the following clear:

1. You do not know what it is you are working on well enough to practice that
2. You need something you can do alone
3. You need something simple enough so that you will not get it wrong
4. It needs to be something that will help you overcome the immediate challenge you have

This seems a serious task; however, I have found that most teachers are capable of drawing on their experience to come up with something. Not only that, but they seem to enjoy the challenge: more engaging than the typical passive student.

You might need practice asking for the right kind of exercises and your teacher might need practice too; don’t be disheartened if you don’t get perfect exercises first time you try this. Keep at it, and it will eventually become a standard learning technique you use to become a better dancer.

Mistakes about learning dance

At a recent dance studio social/comp night, I was talking to a group of fellow dancers about the way people learn (and sometimes do not learn) dance. This resulted in a number of the common mistakes that people can make when learning dance being identified. Let’s go over these now to see if you might be making some of these mistakes and what can be done about it if you are.

Thinking it’s all about the figures

Much teaching of dance focuses upon teaching a figure. Thus, is it no surprise if you think to be a better dance, you must know more figures and harder figures. If you have trouble dancing and you decide to get a DVD of dance figures (or go to a dance workshop to learn more figures or something like that), then first check that the issue you have is indeed no knowing enough figures. Sometimes that is an issue – especially for leads. However, it is only sometimes!

Forgetting attributes

Often the issue is not what we know about dance, but the way we dance. We know what we are meant to do, but it just doesn’t happen. You might be told to dance on the beat, but that does not mean you will. You might be told to move smoothly, but that does not mean you can. You might be told to relax, but being told to relax can be stressful for many.

In cases like this, you need to think about not the dance, but about YOU.

• Do you need more flexibility?
• Do you need to work on understanding music?
• Do you need to work on confidence?

These are just examples, but they are the type of questions you can ask yourself. Try to work out what it is about you that stops you from dancing as well as you could. Think about coming up with a list of things you think might hold you back. Then think about what you can do for each of these listed items.

Not trying a different mind set

One thing that often holds people back is the way they approach learning. If you are used to learning a certain way, one that might have worked well in other contexts, then it might not be ideal for learning some aspects of dance (yet you keep using it). Some examples:

• You might be good at remembering lots of facts for exams, but that will not help you learn to lead and follow different people.
• You might have focused on understanding basic principles and then applying them in different cases, but that will not help you respond quickly when dancing socially on a crowded floor and you need to be intuitive.
• You might have used methods of remembering a series of events, but you can’t go through your mnemonic technique at your owns pace when dancing a routine to music.

If you are having troubles learning some aspect of dance, then take the time to consider your learning approach. It might be that using a different approach will yield improved results.

Thinking it stops

Dance is not like riding a bike. Things can fall out of your head (and your body memory). Do not make the mistake of thinking that once you have learned a step or passed a certain level, that you will always have those skills and figures in your head. Instead, if you notice you lose something, then work on getting it back.

Don’t get annoyed by this. The fact that dance needs this effort is what makes it so good for your brain. Each time you are relearning, think about how you will not be mentally slow as you age.

Thinking you should learn from good dancers as opposed to good teachers

Just because someone dances well does not mean they know how to teach. In fact, if someone dances really well, then they probably do not understand what you are going through, and they are not able to help you. Don’t look only for a good dancer; try to find a good teacher.

Note also, that there is no such thing as a good teacher. There is only such thing as a good student teacher relationship. You might need to change teachers simply to get the match. And sometimes what you needed at an earlier stage of learning is not what you need now. Do not be afraid to change teachers if you need it or to even engage another for special needs at the same time.

Not really knowing what you are learning for

Do you know why you are learning to dance? Sometimes people are just there and do not really know why they are dancing. Without that focus/motivation, it’s hard to learn to dance well.

On top of that, if you know what you are dancing (for social dancing, sport, exhibition, to meet people of the opposite sex, to take on a challenge etc.), then you can better tailor your learning strategy to you needs.

Think about why you are learning dance, then use that for motivation and aligning your learning efforts with what you need to learn.

Dance step tutorials: Why the best way to teach dance is the wrong way

 Have you been dancing for a while and found that you’re still learning, have issues or maybe even feel that you have more issues with your dancing than you used to? You might even be searching the internet for dance step tutorials so that you can find something that you’re missing, and then master your dance. Well you’re certainly not alone. Many of us are trying to find something that will make us feel that we are improving faster or at a rate that fits with our expectations of ourselves. We do this because sometimes we’re unlearning what we thought was good dancing. We also do it because dance has started to become a challenge when once it was more fun, and we want that fun back

Why does dance progress in such an odd way?

 The reason for these issues is that dancing is actually taught wrong. At the beginning you’re taught basic steps with little attention to proper styling of subtle requirements. Or you might focus on easier danmces such as mernegue, which often gives a quick sense of achievement.

 When this happens you have a lower standard to reach. You go along happily picking these new steps thinking all is fine. However, it is not. You dance teacher is actually allowing you to develop a lot of bad habits. Because they do not control what you do, you will start moving your body in whatever way feels good, comfortable or normal to you. The chances of this movement being the same as what is expected at a higher level are very low. 

This means that you will spend some time (maybe years) training your body to dance a way it’s not meant to. That’s how you end up with bad habits that need to be unlearnt, that’s how you end up finding dance less fun and more challenging and that’s why you end up searching the internet for dance step tutorials and hoping you’ll find that secret to dancing better.

So what is the most effective way to learn dance?

 The question of the best way to learn is not unique to dance. It is actually something that has been considered in many other areas. Let’s consider three different areas: martial arts, engineering and public speaking. That’s a pretty diverse group of activities.

 Many of us remember the ‘wax on, wax off’ of the first karate kid movie.  Poor Ralph Macchio had to do that for hours (plus many other chores) before he could get into any ‘real’ training.

 What about engineering? Would you feel safe if an engineer’s first lesson was desiging a bridge that you were about to drive over? Probably not. You’d want them to have learnt how to calculate stress in the bridge and ensure that the stress will not be greater than the bridge material can handle. That’s why engineers need to complete a degree first.

 So now what about public speaking? Have you seen The King’s Speech? King Georg VI of Britain needs to overcome a speech problem so that he can speak in public. A lot of his training has little to do with public speaking before he actually tries it.

 The common theme you have seen here is that it is more efficient to take time building the attributes that allow us to do something as opposed to simply doing that something. The same is true of dance (pretty much anything really). We should start by developing our musicality, our body’s dexterity and grace, and our ability to feel another body so that we may lead and follow.

 However, we know that dance isn’t taught like that. This is why you now probably have problems and why you are looking for dance step tutorials on the internet. You’re dealing with all this baggage that comes from being taught how to dance the wrong way.

 Why do we learn like this? That’s a very good question and the easiest way to answer it is to think back to when you started to dance. It was fun wasn’t it? It was also social – unlike martial arts, engineering and public speaking. And it was important that you could do something worthwhile at the start, otherwise why would you go to class. It really is vital to have some small wins at the start. We learn dance this way so that we enjoy it. It is the wrong way to learn, but it is the best way.

What should you do?

 Now that you know you are learning the wrong way, but it is the best way, you need to take action. The fact that you have come to this page is a good sign – it shows that you have already realised this and you’ve decided to be proactive. They best thing to do now is look at building attributes. Focus on the following as you see fit:

• Increasing musicality – there are a lot of resources that focus on musicality specifically, and you can find them with an internet search
• Improving body movement – there are a lot of resources to help with this too, and they can also be found with an internet search
• Accepting that you will need to unlearn dance habits (which might look like a drop in dance ability) and learn new (and better) dance habits

Is this the right way to become an excellent dancer?

Let’s consider one of the most common approaches taken on the path to the mastery of partner dancing. It goes like this:

1. Find a dance school with a good reputation – you can judge this by the awards they have, the number of studios, the number of students, the size or their events and membership of a national dance regulatory board.
2. Make an appointment for a trial lesson with a person who will potentially be you instructor.
3. If the trial seems to go well, then sign up for regular lesson – probably twice a week.
4. Work towards your first level (or medal) grading by learning routines of each style in one groups of dances
5. Then satisfy the first level in any other groups of styles you are interested in (street Latin, American Latin, Modern, American Smooth, American Rhythm and so on).
   1. Once you complete level 1 in your selected style grouping, you can say that you can dance
   2. Then on to the next level.
      1. The second level will make you a polished dancer.
      2. Then the next level.
         1. You will then be an advanced dancer.

Does this indeed make you an advanced dancer?

There are two defining features of the above approach:

1. A focus on routine
2. A social interpretation of standard figures

A focus on routine is ideal for learning figures, but not social dancing. A social interpretation is enough for social dancing, but it provides bad habits for dance sport. Thus, because of the routines you will not be well equipped for social dancing, but because of the social interpretation you will not be prepared for dance sport either. It’s like the worst of both worlds. You might have a good teacher who will encourage proper social dancing or focus more on technique than is needed. However, this will slow progress, which can frustrate you.

So what do you do?

If you like simply learning more and more challenging routines and being recognised for that, then this approach is fine.

If you eventually want to get into dance sport, then consider making the move early. You can then focus on technique.

On the other hand, if you wish to become a social dancer, then you can push your instructor to teach differently. This works well for follows – you can have your instructor not teach the routine, but just do the routine with you and show you how to follow. They can even do something different from the routine during training and then do the routine when you are graded. You get to reach a new level and learn to follow.

For leads, you just need to accept that learning a routine as well as how to lead will take more time than learning one or the other. You will need to enhance the learning process if you want to learn both at the same time.

What if you like learning at a social studio, you want to attain higher levels, learn to dance socially and dance with the proper standard (dance sport standard)?

You will need to do the following:

• Attend a school that does gradings and has a dance sport connection (This might be your school now, you might need to change schools or you might need to split your time).
• Manage your teacher to teach you the way you need to be taught so you can also to dance socially.
• Manage your own learning so that you can accelerate the rate you can learn all the dance skills you wish to learn.

The first one is fairly easy – just find another school if needed. You might even charge your teacher with learning about this higher standard. That brings you to the second point – managing your teacher.

If you can manage your teacher and yourself, then you can learn all you want. To know how to do this – click here.

The 8 myths you incorrectly believe about better dancers

Most of us have encountered another dancer always seems to dance better than us - not matter what we do. We sometimes look for reasons to explain away their better dance so that we do not need to confront the frustration this can bring. However, many of these reasons we produce are myths. If you confront each myth to find the truth, and use this truth to improve the way you learn dance, then you will become the one that others make myths about.

Here are the 8 myths that people hold about those other dancers who dance better and how to confront them to be a better dancer.

1 They are naturals

Depending upon which country you live in you might or might not follow cricket. If you do, then you will likely know of a man by the name of Shane Warne. He is known for resurrecting spin bowling and delivering the Ball of the Century. He is for this reason considered a remarkable athlete and some would say a natural. However, he is also known for Warne’s rule:

There is no such thing as a natural.

He is certainly not the only person to posit this notion. However, it is noteworthy that one so talented and considered a natural would say this.

The notion of there being no such thing as a natural is also supported by the researcher into expert performance: Anders Ericsson. Ericsson found that all world class experts in their chosen field had completed a period considerable practice to become as good as they were. This was the case for Shane Warne and for those people you think are naturals.

If you know someone who dances better than you and it seems that they have done the same amount of practice as you, then one (or maybe more) of three things has probably happened:

1. They engaged in a hobby or pastime prior to starting dance and developed skills that carried over to dance
2. They actually practice more than they let on – many people do this to create an air of mystique
3. They practice in a more focused (deliberate) manner than you

The fact is that the people who dance well are either now or were once engaging in deliberate practice to develop the numerous attributes that make for a good dancer.

If you want to dance as well as them, then review how much deliberate practice you put in and how focused that practice is.

2 They have a dancer’s body

I have used this one a few times myself. I know men with trim builds who can more easily wrap theirs and their partner’s limbs around their torso. They can also move a little faster because of their leanness. It is true that some people will have a physique that gives them an edge, but it’s not a huge edge so don’t go thinking that this is the reason for someone dancing that much better than you.

And there is a lot more to dance than body shape.

I know I have said this before, but John Lindo is a perfect example of how much more there can be to dance.

 

Nevertheless, depending upon the dance style, you will likely find that a bit of deliberate practice to improve strength, flexibility and endurance will help.

3 They were born in the right culture, which gives them some je ne se

This one is heard a lot. It is especially espoused by people from the respective culture. I personally find it odd that someone would rather try to exclude others from enjoying their culture than try to promote their culture to others and take pride in how it is loved and mastered by so many. But I think this gets back to people needing to find other ways of feeling good about themselves.

But getting back to the point – it is not that they just have some je ne se because of their culture. It is simply that they:

1. grew up with the respective music so they can express it more in their dance and
2. they get the attitude to goes with the dance so they can also express the style easily as well.

The solution to this is once again a lot like practice.

You would be well served first by listening more to the kind of music you dance to. Second, think about the attitude and try expressing that. I only know a few teachers who actively encourage this so if you work on it, then you will quickly improve.

Learning to express attitude can take a while, and is more like acting. However, acting is a component of dance, and is worth trying.

 

4 They pay for more dance lessons

There is certainly an advantage to having more lessons. However, if you know how to practice properly in your own time, then you will make much more out of a smaller number of dance lessons. In my experience, people who pay for more lessons often grow complacent in their practice, and the benefit of the extra lessons is lost.

Remember that much of learning is actually processing what you have learned in your lesson, and not just doing the lesson. Thus, doing more lessons are often just a substitute for practice. Twice as many lessons will not make you improve your dance twice as fast.

Doing the following will make up for any difference that comes from someone else taking more dance lessons than you:

• Focus on processing what was covered in a lesson by going over it regularly (at least once a day with physical practice) and before going to sleep each night in bed to drive it all to the unconscious mind for greatest benefit.
• Record video footage of the key things (figures, techniques, routines and such) taught in each lesson.
• Dance socially – this will really test you. When the other person has learned elsewhere, the leads and follows are different. Which means you need to lead/follow properly instead of relying on the other person knowing what they are meant to do. This will really force you to know and learn the figures.
• Book practice times with other students – it’s free, they might know what you don’t know. And vice versa. You can go over routines with them, and, like social dancing, but not as extreme, you will improve your ability by dancing with another. There are many places that you can practice too.

5 They don’t work, and have more time to practice

It is certainly the case that more practice will help, but quality will always win out over quantity. Practice can cause fatigue if done too long in the wrong context. Focus on the quality of your own practice and make it deliberate.

Questions:

• Do you take notes at the end of each lesson to remind you what to work on until the next lesson?
• Do you take notes when practicing so that you have focused questions at your next lesson?

If you can answer ‘yes’ to both of these, then you’re going to find that practice quantity counts for less. This is because the quality of your practice will now be so much greater.

6 They are the teacher’s favorite

Teachers do have their favorites. However, apart from when it’s because of sexual attraction, it is a result of solid learning habits and a focus on improvement by the student. If you take your learning seriously, then you will likely be the favorite.

Of course, it’s also wise to ensure that you are a pleasant person to dance with.

And even if you’re not the favorite, your learning is your responsibility. Utilize your teacher to become a better dancer, and their lack of motivation teaching you when compared to other students will become meaningless.

7 They have a better teacher

There is such thing as a bad teacher, there is also such thing as a bad student. However, there is no such thing as a good teacher or a good student; only a good student teacher relationship. The key is to match the learning style of the student to the teaching style of the teacher.

You have a few options here if you think someone has a better teacher/student relationship:

1. Change teacher – obvious really.
2. Manage your lessons – by focusing the attention of your teacher on the things you need and extracting the information you need in a form that works for you, it will matter less how your teacher naturally teaches.
3. Adjust your learning – it’s like the opposite of option 2. I would be careful about trying this. If you adopt learning methods that don’t suit you, then it’s hard to conceive how you will dance better. However, you might find that your teacher is actually on to a better method if you give it a go. So be cautious, but try it.

 8 They are more confident

Probably because they practice properly or because they can fake it.

Once you are up and dancing, much of what worries you disappears,  and it's all down to practice. Practicing under stress can also negate the effects of nerves when performing. Therefore, confidence (or lack of it) is not a reason to not dance well.

Nevertheless, it is more enjoyable to dance when feeling confident. This is one of the best methods I have tried to boost confidence in dance.

 

 

Finding a dance partner when you’re single and everyone else isn’t

Do you have troubles finding a dance partner because all the other dancers are couples and their partners (husbands, girlfriends, wives, boyfriends and so on) do not like you dancing with them?

It’s not an uncommon problem.

I have spoken with a number of subscribers to my email list, my blog readers and facebook fans who have this issue. In fact, I have spoken with so many, I decide to find out what can be done to help people in this situation.

To find out why people might dislike another person dancing with their better halves, I conducted a survey of the fans of The Inner game of dance facebook page. I asked people what would make them less comfortable or more comfortable with another person dancing with their partner.

I did not ask them to think of what they thought would affect it. Instead I offered a list of scenarios. This meant that people completing the survey would find it easier to share their feelings on the subject, but it also meant that I might have missed some key issues – this should be kept in mind as the results of the survey are analysed.

The scenarios given were:

• If I were a better dancer, then
• If the person dancing with my partner was a friend of mine, then
• If I danced better than the person dancing with my partner, then
• If the person dancing with my partner was a teacher, then
• If the person dancing with my partner was younger, then
• If the person dancing with my partner was older, then
• If the person dancing with my partner was attractive, then
• If we had just had a fight and someone was dancing with my partner, then
• If it was in a place I had not been before and someone else was dancing with my partner, then
• If it was in a familiar environment and someone else was dancing with my partner, then
• If I had just had a disappointing dance lesson and someone else was dancing with my partner, then
• If the person dancing with my partner was popular at the venue, then
• If the person dancing with my partner was wealthier, then

To each of these scenarios the person was asked to choose one of the following three options:

• I would be less bothered by it.
• it would make little difference.
• I would be more bothered by it.

You can see the survey here if you are interested - https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/L6MXCV3

By finding which scenarios were more likely to induce a negative or positive response a single dancer will be better able to find a dance partner who might already be in a relationship at a social dance event.

Let’s first look at the responses of the men

The top three scenarios that would make men more comfortable with another man dancing with their partners were:

• If I were a better dancer
• If the person dancing with my partner was a teacher
• If the person dancing with my partner was a friend of mine

The top three scenarios that would bother men most were:

• If the person dancing with my partner was attractive
• If it was in a place I had not been before and someone else was dancing with my partner, then
• If we had just had a fight and someone was dancing with my partner

 

Now the above can be compared with responses from the women.

The top four things that would make women more comfortable were :

• If the person dancing with my partner was a teacher
• If the person dancing with my partner was older
• If the person dancing with my partner was a friend of mine
• If it was in a familiar environment and someone else was dancing with my partner

The two top things that bothered women the most were:

• If we had just had a fight and someone was dancing with my partner
• If it was in a place I had not been before and someone else was dancing with my partner

 

What do the results mean for single dancers?

Two issues were common to men and women. They had a preference for familiar places and preferred their partners dancing with a teacher. This suggests that people would like to be reassured that it is just dancing. Teachers are there for dance and if the place is familiar, then the intensions of others are better understood.

No matter if you are a man or a woman looking for a partner to dance with, make it clear that it is dance that you love. Maybe even try acting like a teacher – without coming off as being full of yourself. Talk to the partner (of the person you would like to dance with) about dance, the things that make dance fun, the things you notice about people who are good to dance with and those who are not. Do not go overboard, you will look suspicious, but by focusing on dance you can make it clear that that is what your intensions are.

This is amplified by trust. Both men and women preferred their partners dancing with friends. Try to be friends and develop trust with the people at any dance event and you should find it easier to dance with their partners.

There is also the issue of security. Both men and women would be less likely to feel comfortable with another person dancing with their partner if they had recently had a fight. This can be hard to pick so you’re best looking for a couple that seem happy together.

Along with security is self-assuredness.

Men would feel better if they themselves were better dancers, suggesting that they dislike their partners dancing with men who are good dancers. Women would prefer their partners dancing with someone older, suggesting that they dislike their partners dancing with younger more attractive women.

You can’t make yourself older and you would rather not dance poorly.

But it’s not you; it’s them.

They need to feel better about themselves. There is only so much you can do about this, but certainly a genuine compliment can help. If you have already become friends with the people there, then your compliments will be genuine. If someone feels better in themselves, then they are more likely to be OK with someone else dancing with their partner. If the source of this better feeling is you, then they will feel even better with you dancing with their partner. We all like compliments – keep them genuine (everyone does something that deserves a compliment), and you will not only have more partners to dance with, but you will make other people feel better.

Gotta love that!

Do you see similarities or differences in dancing?

People sometimes see similarities and sometimes they see differences. We all have our tendencies and each has its advantages and disadvantages.

By understanding what your tendencies are you can better work out if they are helping you or working against you. Then you can put effort into how you think about dance figures so that you can dance better.

People who see similarities

Are you a person who always sees patterns and how things are related to each other?

If you are, then you will find that once you learn one dance learning another is easier. This can make progress faster. However, you will also sometimes find that when you’re trying to do a figure you might do another similar one. You might even find that you will do figures from another style. For example you might find that you start doing a salsa when you do samba. You might also start doing waltz when you should be doing the foxtrot.

People who see differences

Are you a person who finds that every time you are given a new piece of information it requires a new place for it to ‘put’ in your memory?

If that is the case, then you sometimes feel that dance can be overwhelming. You might have chosen to learn only one style, and other styles seem like a whole new world. And while it might take a while to learn all the figures, you know them all perfectly. You do not mix them up. If you decide a figure to do, then you know that is the one that you will do.

People who see similarities, but note the differences

Does everything in the world seem basically the same only different?

If it does then others reading this will assume that you have the best of both worlds. You can use the similarities to learn figures faster, but you note the differences so that you don’t mix them up. This is true at times. However, you will sometimes see too many similarities so that you do mix them and still feel overwhelmed at how much there is to learn.

What to do

Fortunately, no matter your tendency the solution is the same.

Understand the figure that you are doing. Break it down into element. Note the elements that you already know and the elements that are unique. This is a bit like have a tendency to see the similarities and noticing the differences, but you are putting an effort into making sure you know what is similar and what is not.

That’s the basics.

If you are person who sees the similarities, then put a little more effort into noting what is unique to each figure and style.

If you see differences, then try to find the similarities so that you can leverage them for faster learning and understanding of dance.

If you’re in the middle then make sure that you do actually know what is similar and what is different.

Working with your teacher

An experienced dance teacher will know what is similar and what is different so they can help you. Say something like:

•  ‘I am mixing these two up: what should I know that is different between the two?’
• ‘Is this completely new or is it like something else I have done?’
• ‘This seems like the other figure it different in this way: is that right?’

This will get your teacher thinking more like the way you do, and they can then help you more.

Of course they have their own tendencies too. If they are the same, then it would make sense for them to know where you have been and they can help you find another way to digest what you need to learn. If they are different, then ask questions like those above will help them work out what you need so that you can move forward.

Letting your teacher know your tendency can by explicitly stating it can help too.

An experienced teacher will have probably developed an intuition for the different ways people see the world and can accommodate. However, there’s nothing wrong with having the conversation to make it clear. 

How to pick the best dance school

Are you sure that you are at the best dance school?

If I think back I can recall a number of times when people talked about how their school was the best or how they moved from one to the other for a higher standard.

In the past I have said that my focus has been mostly on the student and the teacher. I don’t really think that there is such thing as a bad teacher or student. Instead, I think that there are good and bad teacher-student combinations. Or perhaps more accurately, there are good and bad student-teacher relationships.

I still think that this is the majority of what makes for a good learning experience. However, you can’t ignore the influence of the school.

This was driven home to me a few days back when I was at a dance event held by another dance studio. I noticed that the routines of students going for their medals were more complicated than those that were done at my school. However, I also noticed that there seemed to be less connection between the two people dancing.

Upon reflection, this made sense.

My school does have competitions, it adheres to the standards of the respective national body and I know that they have a collection of publication from the Imperial Society of the Teachers of Dance. However, they do encourage socialisation amongst the students and there is a sense of dance as a social activity. The other school was run by a highly regarded dance sport dancer and had a number students who were also in dance sport.

So which school is best?

One of my friends who started at the same school as me migrated to the other one I have mentioned here. I am still happy with mine. He does dance sport and I prefer social dancing.

That is likely your answer there.

The best dance school is the one that suits you and what you want out of dance.

This is actually similar to the issue with choosing “the best” university. In most parts of the world, universities have a ranking system to let you know which is best. However, at least I have been told, the Germans do it a bit differently. Instead of trying to make a list of universities in order of standard, they provide a profile that covers things such as teacher student ratio, faculty profile, research outputs and so on. A student then chooses one that aligns with the qualification they want and what they want from that qualification.

You can do the same when it comes to choosing a dance school/studio. You likely have one now, but if you ever need to choose another one or if you think you are in the wrong place, then think about what you want from dance at that time and how each school would align with that.

I know students who have left dancing simply because they had chosen the wrong school and didn’t look for another that might be more suited to them. Enjoy dance as much as you can - choose a school that is best for you. think about the type of dance you're interested in and the type of enviornment you might like, then choose the dance school.